


So far away

by gutterfortunecookie



Series: Deora Ar Mo Chroi [3]
Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Break Up, Childhood Memories, Comatose, Drug Use, F/M, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Implied abuse, Multi, Physical Abuse, Premonition, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reunion Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gutterfortunecookie/pseuds/gutterfortunecookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tasya and Loki find a way to be together again as they both find answers and more questions about her past...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If you only knew

"I don't want to marry you!"

I know she didn't mean that. I had no ring for her so instead I pull out the necklace from her room, ready to negotiate for something less hellbent. She falls to the roof with her head in her hands and she vanishes into thin air. Artilous lands on the ledge, screeching in alert.

"Tasya!"

I jump forward after her only to land on my stomach. I sense no magic. There would be only one person to know where she was. I sprint undetected through the kingdom, past the gardens and onto the rainbow bridge. Father wouldn't approve of anything I would do. I would show him that I was serious about Tasya. With her, I felt things I never knew existed. I would show her as well, proving that everything I did was, in fact, out of love. After all, she was mine, no matter what. I pass the enterance of the Bifrost, stopping behind the Gatekeeper.

"Heimdall, can you see her?" The gatekeeper turns, keeping his eyes to the stars.

"I am sorry your highness, I cannot see her. I can sense her but it seems that she doesn't want to be found. It was the same when she was here."

"I don't understand, you can see every soul in the nine realms."

"Except for her, something has her hidden. If she appears, you will be the first to know."

"Thank you, Heimdall." I turn seeing the All-father at the enterance. He stands waiting for an explaination. "Father, please..."

"There is nothing that we can do for her. Get back to the palace, now, before you cause anymore damage."

"I'm going to find her!"

"For that show in the throne room, you will not step one foot on Midgard without my permission and that is final!"

My face reddens as we make our way back to the palace. I keep my distance behind him, hearing her sudden cries of pain in my head. I would rather face the dungeons than to feel Tasya suffer. As he disappears to his chambers, I slip away to my secret portal to Midgard.

My journey to the rocky mountain side is long but I try to think of the reasons to go. The air at the top of the plateau is thin as is my patience. I sense the arua of the portal inches away from me. There were other portals but this one was different. This portal was take me to where I needed to go rather than a random place on Midgard.

I stop, lingering to Odin's words about not going and asking what Tasya would have wanted. She was hurt. I would atone for my actions, past and coming.

I step though the rift, smelling the putrid streets of Midgard. The sky thunders and rain starts to fall in sheets. The people were dressed differently. I change into a dark overcoat, not to seem suspicious. I pace the streets, following her screams. A strange building lit bright is waiting before me as I trail her voice in my head.

So many clean people, the smell is dull and frightening. Bodies rest on weak framed beds. A woman shouts "Doctor" as he rushes to help a woman with a deep cut on her arm. Father had told me of places like this. I fear the worst when I realize this was a place of healing. This meant Tasya was truly hurt. I find a staircase, letting myself fly up the steps.

On the last floor, her shrieks sound different, more mature. They are almost hers but at the same time are someone else's. I stay unseen as I pace down the empty hallway. The cries are clear when I look into a room.

A young woman is on a table. She is with child, ready to give birth. Her legs are spread as a nurse sits under her, telling her to push. The woman's skin is pale and sickly. She holds a midwife's hand tightly as she pushes her baby out. I enter the room, invisible, hearing the voices of panic. In the nurse's arms is a small baby girl. She is still, no breath or noise comes from her. I touch her bloodied cheek and she coughs, moving away from my touch, pulling life into her tiny lungs. The mother smiles as she rests on the table. The women are quick to care for the baby, wrapping her in a blanket. The mother only looks to her baby, not reaching to hold her.

"So, mommy, what's her name?"

"Tasya Iris...," she whispers. A machine alarms as more people enter the room. The mother gasps for breath as the life quickly drains from her face. The baby wails as she is carried from the room. Minutes pass and the mother is still beyond help. Everyone stops their attempts to revive her, turning off the machine. A surge of light floods the room with no one noticing.

"Call it," says a doctor.

I focus, feeling time pass as the room was already empty. I find the nursery as the midwife places the crying baby into a strange looking crib. She seems irritable with her duties.

"Looks like you have the room to yourself for now. The last baby went home hours ago. Let's go see if we can find a next of kin to come and get you out of here."

The woman leaves for her office on the other side of the large room. She shuts the door to silence Tasya's screams. I put an illusion around her windows so she can only see the baby. I inspect the crib, wishing she would be made more comfortable. Her tears make me cry, not only because it wasn't her but it was the present and coming unbearable events of her past that would become part of her.

Who would have guessed she fell through time _and_ space. Heimdall couldn't see her as she was yet to be born which meant I would have to wait. Maybe there was a reason she fell into Asgard but here she was now a human baby or wasn't. Mother dead, father not present. If both of her parents were of Midgard then why would the All-father say she wasn't human?

I lift her tiny, wailing body into my arms like I would have done with our own child. I accept it'd been days since we had lost our own. I look to her, wrapped loosely in the blanket.

"Hush now, little one. What is it you need?" I sit in a rocking chair nearby to ease her. I rock her softly, making her cries cease. A baby as she was now and she stopped now asking for anything.

I gently stroke her head, careful not to harm her. Her cheek is soft as her rich brown eyes open, looking up to me. "Well hello there. Welcome to Midgard, little angel. I am sorry for your loss, child. Your mother fought hard to bring you into the world. I'll make sure you are kept safe." Tasya coos as she smiles, taking hold of my long finger and my heart. "If you only knew the joy you will bring to me. One day when we try properly for a child, I'll hold you both in my arms and I will never let you go."

"You will when I call security." I look up seeing the midwife standing outside of my illusion. I rest Tasya on my chest as I get to my feet. My arm holds her strong.

"It's nice to see you give a damn. She was only crying for someone to hold her. Is this how you care for your Midgarian young?"

She tries to run. I freeze her in place. I think back to how much I knew about the young resting quietly in my arms. I realize that me being here would change our futures but this was how I could help her.

"Her father is Arthur Donald. He lives in this city. Call for him. He doesn't know she exists yet and tell of the mother's passing. If you scream or let any harm come to this child, I will not hestitate to make you suffer greatly." My eyes go back to Tasya. Her eyes close and she drifts to sleep quickly. I place her back in her crib. I kiss her forehead, wishing her safety. "I cannot stay to protect you as I should. By now, father knows I've gone and I must face my punishment. I will never stop thinking about you. One day when you are ready, I'll be waiting when you call my name again. I love you, Tasya. Dream of me." I walk away, unfreezing the woman. "You may call your security now."

My walk in the downpour hides my sobs of heartache. My Tasya was lost for now. I would pay the price for not truly caring for her. Knowing nothing about her was to be the worst. I didn't know how old she was when she arrived. For the next two decades would be spent waiting as I watch her grow from afar. The decades after would be as joyful and sad as she would age as a mortal would. She would not see the children I planned to have with her fully grow to have lives. I step through the portal, starting back to the palace. If I was to be thrown into the prisons, so be it.

My eyes burn as sit in my chambers, struck in grief. A guard summons me to the throne room where mother and father are waiting. My tears worsen the reddness of my eyes. I let the humiliating pain show, not caring what they thought.

"I should have listened to you. To her." I kneel to the All-father. "I am ready to serve whatever punishment his majesty feels fits the crime of disobeying an order of the King."

"Stand up, Loki." I obey, closing my eyes. I think of Tasya to ease myself in waiting for what is next. Frigga and Odin embrace me together as I weep like a young child in their arms. Mother is silent as she leaves. "Heimdall told us where she is. There is nothing we can do for her now."

"What if I changed her history by leaving?"

"You found her father. There was not more you could have done." He smiles, sighing. "I will always be warm to the thought of you being a father, no matter the outcome."

"If both of her parents were human, then what is she?"

"An anomoly, perhaps. That is something I will look into personally. Until then, you wait. Maybe she did arrive here bearing a purpose. If your actions in the hospital have not altered her future, then she will be yours."

"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Father smiles, tenderly placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You proved your devotion to her when you left as I knew you would. Your actions may have changed her future. So this will be your punishment. You will only go to her when she calls you. If she remembers you, then you may go to Midgard and retrieve her. You will have my blessing and I'll even marry you both myself. If you visit her on Midgard before then, I will take the deal away and confine you somewhere you will not escape and you will never see her again. Do I have your word?"

"You have my word."

"You have my forgiveness. Go rest now. There is work to be done."

Relief stings me as I find myself at the door of her chambers. I open the door, sulking inside. The room held few memories and so many feelings fell off of the walls. The things she left here would soon carry dust. The servants would take everything away and leave the room bare until it would be of use again. The room of the guest of the house of Odin. It was almost hard to believe she was gone.

The large chest at the bottom of her bed is empty as I would have expected. I gather most of the things she's touched. Her bag, the dresses she wore, anything that would fit. She hadn't touched her Midgardian clothes since the night she arrived. I pull the sheets from her bed, bringing them to my nose. Her intoxicating scent lingers in the threads. They fit with the other things. I sigh with the sight of the bare room and a full chest as I pick up her journal. The necklace lays flat on the floor. It dangles from my fingers the way it did when she told me I should have left her in the dungeons.

It was the one thing she never took off. Until tonight.

I close the chest and carry it down the empty halls into my chambers. Until she returned, anything that was apart of her would be safeguarded. I rest on the bed and read the pages of the journal I made for her. I look through the empty pages and find something on the last page. My own writing is there.

 

_For your dreams. -X_

　

Tasya's handwriting rests on the other side of the page with a pointing arrow.

 

_Why? You're always there anyway, just stay out of the dirty section._

 

I close it, placing it on my spellbooks. I hurt worse having to wait. I strip myself of the armor and rest, making an illusion of Tasya laying next to me. She wears my tunic as it bunches under her breasts. She hums in her sleep as she always did. I pull her close and smile. My face nestles in the strands of her hair.

"I'll be waiting, Darling."

Tomorrow after we would return from battle, I would set everything into motion for her. I would go to the valley where she buried our child and build a home for her. A cottage, nothing big but enough for a family. Our family. The fields would be hers as would the flowers I would plant for her. I would take her away from the burden of the castle and provide for her as a real warrior should.

Thor could have the throne for all I cared as long as I had Tasya again. I would only train and take no other maiden as I waited. I'm sure she would call my name. She would land on Midgard and call my name and I would be there in an instant.

 

~

 

I rise early to prepare for battle. The illusion is long gone as I dress in my strongest armor. I check the belt loop to see if it is still there. I undo the blue cloth that belonged to Tasya. I fold the material and hide it in journal's empty pages. The necklace sits beside it.

"One day," I hopefully whisper as I leave my chambers.

The throne room is silent as I join Thor and the rest of the warriors. The All-father decends the stairs of the throne to us.

"The origin of the Baests that were slain have been found." He unrolls a map showing an empty void. "Heimdall has sensed unnatural activity coming from here, away from Khartoh. Whatever sent the Baests is ready to send more. They have the resourses to send them to wreck havoc anywhere in Yggdrasil."

"What needs to be done?" asks Thor.

"Heimdall has only seen a few dozen warriors but their origin is unknown like they've appeared from thin air. Find out what they are and stop whatever they are working on. Destroy it if you have to."

"All-father," says Hogun, "How many of us need to go?"

"Just you all. I simple quest for my finest warriors and because of the unseen movements of the enemy, time is a pressing matter. Go now."

Through I don't mean to smile, battle has given me a great purpose as an Asgardian. I turn with my warriors, ready for the victory that lies ahead.

For Asgard, for Odin, for Tasya.

 


	2. Song for someone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for someone  
> -U2
> 
> *A/N: First two parts of the chapter are 3PPOV while the third is Loki's POV

 

Loki leaves with the other warriors. Odin relishes the look of focus on his son's face. Frigga becomes visible to stand next to Odin.

"Perhaps we can all benefit from this," she says.

"Yes, a great battle to keep his mind clear. Just the thing he needs. Have you found anything yet?"

Frigga shakes her head. "Not yet but our scrolls are endless, something like this could take a while to find."

"I believe 23 years is plenty of time."

"I may have luck looking in all the nine realms for a clue."

"Then go. Take a soldier with you, one that has shadowed a Scribe to help you on your search. I will stay here and see what I can find. This may be older than we think so leave no stone unturned. Take care, Frigga."

"You as well, my king."

Odin walks the halls of the palace, reaching the ancient scrolls. He sifts through the papers as he reads, trying to find what Tasya really was.

She had fallen through the realms and from a farther time. She had been protecting herself when the one man tried to pilage from her. She could have unlocked a hidden power as a defense mechicnism. Could she had been powerful enough to do that?

At the end of the night, he was briefed on the status of his people from The Gatekeeper. The warriors were well on their way and Frigga was safe on Vanaheim looking for answers.

Odin spent the week, scroll after scroll, searching for a myth, a lost creature, anything that would make sense.

A guard entered his chambers one morning in alert.

"My apologizies, All-father. The warriors have returned but there has been an accident."

Odin leaves the scrolls and the guard behind him to rush for the healing room. Outside in the halls, he sees his warriors, mostly brusied and catching their breath. Loki and Thor were not in the group.

"What happened?"

Sif steps forward to the All-father.

"My king," she starts, trying to find her words, "It was a machine almost similar to the Bifrost, only it was more complex."

The doors to the healing room burst open as Thor is hauled out by a group of guards.

"He is my brother! You can't leave me out here!"

"THOR!" roars Odin. Thor stays silent as he calms down, trying to hide his tears. Odin stepped forward. "What happened?"

"There... were a few dozen soldiers watching the machine as Heimdall saw. Most putting it together. It was a portal. We were spotted and soldiers came from all sides." His voice broke as he turned away.

"My king," says Hogun with his eyes to the floor, "Loki cloaked himself and Thor. They found the power source and seperated it from the machine. Thor used Mjolnir to destroy it. We had no choice but to retreat when the machine overloaded. Loki knocked Thor out of the way when it was finally destroyed. A large part of the machine struck him in the head. He hasn't woken since he fell to the ground."

"All-father, we were able to capture a lone survivor in the mess," says Sif.

"Question him," says Odin without feeling, "Do whatever is needed. All of you." Lady Sif and the Warriors Three head to the dungeons, Odin and Thor are left at the barred doors of the healing room.

"Does Mother know?" asks Thor with a quiet voice.

"No. She is not on Asgard and won't be for a while. The only thing we can do is wait. You need to let the healers do their job."

"We've brought the power source back with us. The guards are securing it deep in the weapon's vault as we speak."

One of the head healers exits the healing room.

"My king, his head has healed already but we fear there is something wrong with him internally."

"What do you mean?"

"He's...," she stops to think of her words, "sleeping. We've tried to wake him but the blow to the head has made him comatose. Whatever damage that has been done on the inside is taking it's time to heal."

"How long will this last?"

"We don't know, I'm sorry your majesty."

"Is there a chance he'll wake?"

"It is possible."

"Have him moved to his chambers and see that he is cared for." The healer leaves to carry out the All-fathers wishes. Maybe this was for the best, to Tasya's advantage. Comatose on Midgard would last for years. Knowing Loki was alive would be enough for him.

"Thor, go to the dungeons and find out what that thing is and be sure to keep him alive for the axe."

"Yes, father."

 

　

_*Five years later*_

Frigga steps onto the Bifrost with her soldier. Nothing was found on Vanaheim. Tasya was too extrordinary for the myths and tales of that realm but there were a few books she found for Loki to study.

"Welcome back to Asgard, my Lady."

"Thank you, Heimdall. How is everyone?"

"Perhaps that answer would come best from the All-father." She giggled at his response, not seeing the concern in his eyes.

Frigga arrives in the throne room, seeing Thor and Odin huddled together. Thor walks past her without looking her in the eyes. She notices Loki wasn't with them.

"What's happened?"

Odin takes a deep breath and takes the queen's hand into his own. His words are ocean waves of heart ache in her ears. This couldn't have happened, she told herself. The books drop from her hands as she rushes from the throne room. Frigga holds her son's hand as she watches him almost lifeless in his bed.

"You can't leave us. You can't leave her, she still needs you."

 

Odin appears behind her, placing the new books on his son's nightstand. Frigga lets her tears fall in rivers as she sees the necklace next to the books.

"There is nothing was can do for them now but to keep searching."

"I found nothing on Vanaheim, my king."

"Everything will fall into place in their own time, my queen." Frigga chains the necklace on Loki's wrist and tucks the gem under his still fingers, giving him a reason to wake. She would give the order to keep it chained to his wrist.

"Fight strong, my son."

She leaves her son's bedside with Odin's arm around her to comfort her grief. The gem from the necklace glows softly under his cold hands.

Heimdall watched as Loki's body was still under the sheets of his bed. A saddened smile appears in his eyes knowing things in the nine realms were unchanged and would soon fall into place as Odin said. The gatekeeper looked to the stars as he noticed a young, lonesome Midgardian child with curly brown hair holding a torn picture in her hands as she cries. She looks to the sky asking for someone to help, if there was anyone there. With a blink of an eye, she was shadowed, unseen from his eyes.

 

-

 

"Please! Is anyone there? Hello?!"

Loki saw the dark walls around him again. Everywhere he turned, there was another wall, darker, tall and closer than the rest. The breath in his chest shortened as felt the walls were closing in around him. He stumbled to his feet and ran. Every turn, there were more corridors like a maze. He wanted to call out but he knew there was no one there to answer him. His ears picked up something in the walls. A whimper.

"Hello?"

No, but there was a small cry, like a ghost. He followed the voice until he found a small child. A little girl with tears flowing from her eyes. He knelt beside her, placing a hand on her unruly, brown hair.

"Why the tears, little one?"

His heart stopped the minute she looked into his eyes. Little Tasya, he was certain it was her. There she was, crouched before him in a little sundress. In her hands were two pieces of torn paper. She opened her hands all the way to show him what used to be a picture, torn down the middle.

"She tore it up 'cause I found it. I can't find the tape."

She? He thought back and remembered Tasya's comment about her aunt.

"What is your name, little one?"

"Tasya but the other mean kids call me Nasty-a."

More tears fall as she tries to wipe them away.

"Tasya is a beautiful name. Tell me, do you like magic?" A small smile flashed as he peered under her hair. He held up his hand to her as it glows. A tiny illusion of Artilous formed in his hand. It took off as Tasya's eyes widened.

"It's a bird!" she gasped. The bird flew inbetween the strands of her hair as she giggled, tickish to the feathers. The bird landed in the Loki's hand and disappeared. She looked back up to Loki with her wonderous little eyes. "Are you a wizard?"

"My name is Loki. I'm actually a magician but you can't let anyone know," he says hushed. She put a hand up to her mouth and shook her head in agreement. He felt himself feel weightless as if he was starting to be pulled away from her. "I can do one more trick if you promise to stop crying."

"I promise," she whispered.

"May I?" asked Loki as he took the torn picture away from her. His hands glowed again as he drifted. They watched together as the edges smoothed out and creased to perfection. The pieces fit together like a puzzle, mending themselves between his hands. The faded color returned, bringing it back to life. He sighed as the picture was repaired, looking new.

It was an image of Tasya's mother before she was with child. He saw where Tasya got her beautiful features from. The curly hair, the deep brown eyes and the moles on her arms. Next to her mother was a young man with short black hair. He was built lean almost like Loki and his smile was warm, just like Tasya's. He looked similar to Tasya's illusion back on Asgard at the celebration. Could it have been her father?

He handed her the picture and a wide toothed smile crossed her face. She jumped up and threw her tiny arms around his neck. He slowly pried her off as parts of him started to disappear. He smoothed her unruly hair back as she looked to him.

"Tasya, I have to go now but I promise I will be back. You keep that picture safe for me and when I come back, I'll show you more magic. Okay?"

"Okay, Lucky."

He shook his head with a little humor. He wished this moment with her wouldn't end.

"I need you to stay strong and fight like I know you can. You survive, okay?"

"Okay."

She stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek as the last of him disappeared.

"Thank you, Lucky. I love you," she whispered.

The halls was empty again as he strode along. He sighed as he remembered her last words. He would have to find a way to wake up so he could here those words once again. As he walked the halls, he recalled the last few minutes before he was knocked out.

Thor distroyed the machine as instucted by Odin. In return, the machine made a terrifying noise as he yelled for all the warriors to run. He and Thor were the last two to start running as they carried the power source with them. As the machine exploded, he knew there was no time for them to safely get away using Mjolnir.

He did what Tasya would have done and pushed Thor out of the way of flying metal. For a moment, he felt a bang at the back of his head. The pain returned for a split second as he stopped at the sound of a shout.

He turned his head and felt someone run into him, almost knocking him off his feet. His foot shot back to steady him as the person grabbed his waist to pull themselves up. The person backed away and Loki saw her again.

Tasya had grown into an aged youth now. Her beautiful brown hair was now chopped into sloppy blue streaks covering her hair. Her clothes looked old and worn. She wasn't slinder as she once was. My body was covered in curves under the clothes. One of her eyes was brusied. Her fingers dug into his arm as a young man her age flew around the corner and spotted her.

"Bitch, you can't run forever."

"Do you know him?" he asked Tasya.

"I'm her boyfriend, Loser."

"That's rude," he said turning to her, "What did you do to him?"

"I kicked him in his sack because he tried touching me." She backed slowly behind him, still attached to his arm.

"Don't worry, babe. I will soon enough. You just need some encouragement." He started walking towards Tasya with a hungry look in his eyes. He pulled a knife from his pocket as Taysa's breath shook in fear. This time she would be properly protected. Loki put his hand up and stopped him.

"You may want to rethink your actions, young man. I'd give anything to have a woman like this on my arm."

"Fuck you, Lothario," says the young man as he swings his knife at Loki. He catches his wrist in a second as he grabs the man by the throat. With ease, Loki snatches the knife away and pins the boys to the wall, lifting him several feet from the ground. The man claws at his wrist with no anvil. Loki allows his skin to change to its original form with his blue skin and red eyes filling his eyes with terror.

"Now this can happen one of two ways. The first is that you remain here and I have to kill you for mishandling this young woman here. The second is that I let you go and you never bother her again. You don't touch her, look at her, talk to her or even think about her because if you do..." Loki summons two more illusions of himself to hover the man, "We are going to track you down like the scum that you are and you are going to wish you were never born."

The young man shakes his head as a bad smell filled the hall. Tasya giggled as Loki looked down to the young man's legs. A large wet spot appeared on the front of his pants as the smell of urine filled the air.

"Disgusting animal," he said letting go, "Get out of here before I change my mind!" The young man fled without another word. Loki turned to Tasya as she grinned.

"I could have handled that, you know."

"Oh, I don't doubt that for a minute," he said handing her the knife. She easily folded the metal. "But people can be filled of vengence so I suggest moving on to a different place for your safety."

There was a small sense of bitterness in her eyes as he kept his eyes locked on her. She showed no fear at the color of his skin as it turned back and the illusions vanished.

"So," she said as she turned away to hide the knife in her pocket, "What's your real name, Lothario?"

He blinked before he knew what happened.

"Lok..."

She was gone again just like that and the smell of urine disappeared. He sighed in frustration as his skin returned to normal. He leaned his head on the side of the wall to rest for a moment. His eyes closed as he banged his head against the wall.

"Where did you go?" he asked the emptiness. He banged his head again and again. He wanted to pound the back of his head until the wall caved in around him.

Instead, he fell though the wall. His back hit the floor as he stared up the skirts of about three girls. They squeal and swoon for him as he braces the threshold of the open door. Music pours into the hallway as people are heard inside that small space. If it wasn't for the surprise of these hallucinations, he would have stayed but since he was, that would only mean that Tasya was near by.

"Excuse me." Before he could turn, a woman roughly pushed her way through. His heart stopped again as he saw her bloodied face. "Can you move it please, Lurch?"

His woman stood still for a moment as one of the girls gasped.

"Shit, Tasy. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she grumbled as she peeled her jacket off, showing fresh bruises on her arms. Things like this weren't suppose to happen to good people like her. "Where's Lena? I need to stay here tonight and I know Earl won't go anywhere near her."

"How does he look?"

"Like he got an ass-whoopin', UFC style," she giggles as she throws a soft punch in the air. She shifts to face him as she jumps on the bench, face inches away from his, her wispy brown hair teasing his cheeks. "And what the hell are you looking at? You don't want none of this!"

"Oh, come on Tasya, leave him alone, he's cute. Definately a better choice than Earl."

"Fuck off, Torres. No one asked you."

Loki couldn't believe that she was here again, and he didn't want to waste another second without her. He reached out, grabbing Tasya and dipped her in the air as he kissed her lips deeply. She was caught by surprise as her legs gave out. She tried to pull away at first but she kissed him back as her hands ran up his arms. He felt a soft moan hum from her lips. He was tempted to heal the cut on her lip the way he did before. A quick swipe of his tongue to her split lip was enough to heal it and snap her out of the haze he pulled her in. Claps thundered from whomever saw them.

"That's it," he thought. He felt her body jerk as she changed her mind and tried to pull away. Her foot kicked up and pushed them away from the wall as they tumbled to the floor. Loki stayed on the floor and looked up as Tasya grabbed a beer bottle and hit it against his head. It shattered into large pieces against his head. The whole space roared with cheers as she started to walk away.

"No one touches me. Ever!"

He stood as she ran through the flood of people and vanished. A man lead him to a windowed door to an outside balcony. The blow wasn't enough to make him bleed but it did take him by surprise. "She was always a fighter," he says as he shakes all the broken glass out of his hair.

After a while, he looks up and sees her on the balcony next to his. She has a drink in her hand as she wastes no time in consuming it. Her body slumps to the wall as she turns her head, almost knowing he's there watching her.

"Hey," she shouts, "I'm sorry I hit you in the head. Today wasn't a good day."

He chuckles softly, inching his way to the edge.

"I'm actually tougher than I look. Are you going to be okay?"

"No. I never am. I'm just fucked up and broken like that bottle." He wanted to make this moment with her count. He lifted himself up and balanced himself on the edge of the balcony. The length between the two balconies was double the distance. Easy enough for him. "What are you doing?"

"Well," he says jumping back down, "I'm sure you've locked yourself in the room you're in for your own protection. I need to be next to you before you're gone again."

"Really? Why is that?"

"When I make it over there, I'll tell you."

She turns to the door, sliding it open.

"Wow, how about this. If you make it over, you can have me." She shuts the door with a thud. He braces the back of his balcony, ready to have her again if only for a moment. He launches himself and leaps off of the edge. His body sails through the air, making it to the other side as he rolls into a crouch.

Tasya hears the crash as she backs away. She tries to rush to lock the door but he makes it first, sliding the door out of his way. He tries to hide his desire for her with a smile of relief.

"Be careful what you wish for, Darling."

Her hand tosses the empty bottle, only for him to dodge it easily. She teeters as she backs away to an open door leading to a washroom.

"God. Just go away!" He follows her as she starts to strip. His eyes watch the sea of color around her body. Mixed with her beige skin are waves of purple, red, and yellow. She gasps in pain as she tries to remove the rest of her clothes. "Enjoying the show?"

"Why would you let something like this happen?"

"Get out."

She turns on the water for her shower, letting steam flood the room. He steps forward and traces the edge of her shoulder, moving her bra strap down. Her hand tries to shoots up to undo her bra but she winces in pain as her hand falls back down. Loki stands behind her, warming the back of her neck with his shaking breath.

"Don't be ashamed to ask for help, Tasya."

"How do..." Her voice is cut off as he softly kisses a bruise on the side of her neck. Her head falls back onto his shoulder as his hands creep up to cup her breasts. One hand holds her chest in place while the other reaches her spine to undo the clasp. The fabric moved down her arms to fall to the floor. He knew his time with her would end soon but it was satisfying to savor the woman he loved like he would never see her again.

The smoothness of his palms grabbed her waist, pulling her naked skin close. Her backside pushed into him as he groaned in her ear. He walked forward with her until both of their bodies were under the falling shower water. He phases his clothes away and holds her tighter, wanting to feel her body mold against his. Her voice buckles in a sob as he lets her go.

"I've wanted this for so long," he braces he wall on either side of her head, "but I won't force you to..."

She turns and ghosts her lips to his as she stays to the wall.

"Just stay, please." He looks deeper into her eyes past the falling tears, seeing the middle wider than it was before. The rich brown color is sickly thin next to the black pupils of her eyes. Her body slowly lowers under him. He pulls her back up, bracing her under his arms.

"What have you done to yourself?"

"It's okay. I feel fine now." She pulls him in, letting her tongue cover the side of his neck.

"No. This isn't right. You need proper care," he moans, leaning forward.

"Then take care of me." Her hands urge his hips closer to hers feeling his senses crash around him. He resists her long enough to turn off the water and carry her to the bed in the next room.

He lays her gently on the bed as his mouth envelops her chest. He pulls her back to his mouth as he takes her nipple between his lips, sucking at her hungrily until both of her nipples awake to his tongue. Her moans awaken him, reminding him that he had already claimed her as his and was ready to do so again. He presses his lips to her as she spreads her thighs to Loki with his body fitting perfectly between her legs.

His hips grind into the start of the core as her head falls back in pleasure, her fingers reaching up to pull at his raven hair. He moved faster, feeling her arousal coat his erection. He guided the tip to her enterance and slowly moved forward, feeling her stretch. She relaxed herself and let her body writhe under him. He looked down at her, seeing the pleasure in her darken eyes.

His own closed as he thrusted into her quicker, her walls were tight around his throbbing cock. His head fell to her shoulder, letting the friction build in his stomach. His teeth dragged up her neck with his mouth panting at her ear.

"Loki," she whispered. His eyes shot open as she was nowhere to be found. His eyes wondered down his body, seeing himself fully clothed again. The dark walls returned as the color deepened, mocking his grief to losing her again.

"No! Fuck, no!" His fists pounded the floor with might, causing no damage. Tears weld in his eyes as he got back to his feet. "I'm not losing you so easily."

Loki's feet thundered to the floor, gaining speed, running as fast as he feet would carry his. He decided to run until he found her again. The light in the dark halls faded as he ran into a door. His hands reached up, touching a flaking, rotted door.

" _Loki?! Answer me, dammit!_ " It was her.

He pushed against the door with all his strength.

"I'm here, Tasya, I'm right here!"

His leg lifted in the air and kicked the door in two. He found himself in a small chamber, he looked around seeing a kitchened area. He found a chair and sat at the table as he saw Tasya in the arms of another man. His hands wondered her skin under his own tunic. He was speechless to see another man touch his woman. Why didn't she fight him off?

The light in her face was gone as the man pushed her over the side of the table where Loki sat.

"No."

He attempted to raise from the chair but found he was restrained to the wood. Chains shackled his feet and his hands were bound to his side. He pulled and pulled as the man touched what was his, exposing her to him as he tried not to watch what was happening.

Loki was unable to tear his eyes away as Tasya whined in pain as she allowed the man to continue on her. Her jaw trembled shut and her face looked up to the empty void where he was sitting. He saw her close his eyes and he could hear her voice hidden under her shaking lips.

"Loki."

He pulled and pulled until his muscles hurt. He would snap the man's neck and carry Tasya back to Asgard in his arms. He would beg her forgiveness and be anything she wanted, even if it was nothing. He raised his head again as he heard the man leave her, half naked and sobbing on the table. Her involuntary whimpers urged him to break the chains at last. His weight of his anger, however, was enough to make him fall over in the chair.

Loki landed on his back and saw nothing but stars. Not Asgardian but Midgardian. Stars in the night sky, he lifted his head, looking around to gather his surroundings. His body turned to a woman humming. She sank to her knees and looked up until her brown hair covered her back like a curtain. Her thick layers of clothes were loose around her, the cloth blowing in the hunid, summer wind.

Loki knew it was Tasya by the sound of her voice. She always hummed in her sleep. He heard her inhale as she sing softly.

 

_"Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you"_

 

He knelt by her side. She remained the same as if he were a ghost, floating beside her. Her eyes stayed to the sky and her tears reflected in the roof lights.

 

_"Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you"_

 

Her head swayed as she stood to her feet. She took a deep breath and cried to the heavens as she sang, him feeling the pain of her beautiful voice.

 

_"And I..."_

 

She turned her head and smiled, thinking him as a mirage. Her hand was hesitant to touch his face.

 

_"Will swallow my pride"_

 

He saw it in her eyes again, black and empty. She had taken something again to ease her pain. She backed away from him as he reached out to her.

 

_"You're the love that I love_

_and I'm saying Goodbye."_

 

"Just say my name. I swear I will be here in a moment. You have my word as you've always had it."

Tasya stumbled backward in a haze and fell over the edge of the roof. He dove after her landing on his stomach as she fell out of his sight. She vanished again as he let out a roar of disbelief.

His body felt like it was struck by Mjolnir. His eyes shot open to the colors of his Asgardian bedroom. He drew a mighty breath into his lungs and let out a roar that echoed the walls as he felt pain he never felt before.

 


	3. Keep holding on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep holding on  
> -Avril Lavinge

Frigga screamed as she witnessed her son's body contort on his bed.

"Someone help!"

Her cries were whispers compared to his son's growing screams. The guards grabbed the Prince's bed sheet and hoisted him to the healing room as his body flailed. The Queen hurried behind the guards and waited at the golden doors. As being the Queen, it was important to stay content but as a mother that saw her son awaken from a near death sleep was enough to rattle her nerves into a weep.

News had traveled fast throughout the day as Frigga was joined with her husband and her other son. They waited for news, any news to come from behind the doors. A guard pulled the All-father aside to deliver news from Heimdall. The uncertain sigh from Odin was ignored as he whispered silently in Thor's ear without drawing attention to Frigga.

Her worry turned to startling relief as the door opened the next morning. One of the healers stepped forward with hope beaming towards the royal family.

"He is awake but he is resting now. We've had to sedate him but he should be awake soon. He'll need all the rest he can get."

"Thank you," said the Queen.

"One more thing, your Majesties," said the healer, "We had to pry this out of his hand."

She placed something in the palm of the Queen's hand. It was a small chain necklace with a purple gem hanging in the middle. After all this time, she had forgotten she had tucked the necklace in her son's hand. The healer bowed her head and disappeared in the healing room. The guards carry Loki down the hall to his room.

"I'll go," said Thor, "To be there when if wakes soon. You should rest."

Odin takes his Queen's hand and holds it firmly in his own.

"What?" whispers Frigga.

Odin watches the chain swing.

"Something has happened on Midgard. Something we hadn't seen."

-

 

The dark walls were finally gone and I felt free to dream peacefully. I dared to open my eyes but there she was, an angel, laying in the sheets beside me. The skin of her hand was warm to the touch. She pulls my hand to her face. My fingers grace her cheek as her soft lips kiss my palm.

"Where did you go?"

"I don't know, I've been asleep for so long."

She giggles, guiding my hand down the length of her body, between the valley of her breasts, stopping at her stomach, pressing the flat of my hand lower to her navel.

" _It's wonderful_ ," she sighed, smiling to me, " _Can't you feel it?_ " I looked down again and her stomach was heavily swollen and pregnant. My fingers formed over her skin and I could feel the child in her womb kick against my hand. " _You better hurry up before it's too late._ "

I sit up to get a better look at her and sunlight blinds me as she vanishes again.

"No," is all I can manage as my head falls into my hands. Mother rests at the edge of my bed as she craddles me. She does her best to comfortably shush me. "Mother, I saw her. She grew up in front of my eyes. I saw everything. I saw..."

My voice broke. I couldn't tell her of the things or the pain I saw Tasya endure. She was gone anyway, falling of the roof where I last saw her.

"She is alive, Loki."

"What?"

"Heimdall saw her fall to the balcony below. She only hurt her leg. She was calling out to you. Odin told me of his promise to you. As soon as you are well enough, you may go to her."

I try to leave the bed until Odin steps into my chambers.

"Welcome back, my son. Eager for a morning stroll?"

"She is alive?"

"I understand where your heart is trying to pull you but you need at least a days rest. You will be no good to her in a weakened state. I am a man of my word. Tomorrow at first light, you may go to Midgard to her. Heimdall will watch over her until then."

My heart felt like it was to explode from my chest. I shook my head in argeement to make sure I didn't to anything that would jepordize me to see Tasya again. The thought of her falling to her death made my food hard to swallow thoughout the day.

I ate as much as my stomach could hold. My body laid still in the sheets. Frigga told me I was asleep for over two decades. I tried my best to sleep but I had enough of that and the excitement was too much as I smile to the ceiling. I watch the colors in the sky darken in color. I lower my eyeslids and think of her, the way she would feel in my arms again, the way I would fit perfectly between her legs again. My hand moves down the sheets as I take hold of my straining cock. My body felt the ache of years of not being touched. I imagine Tasya's warmth clenched around me as her hips would glide up and down, her head falling back in pleasure. My hand strokes faster and faster as I hear her voice, moaning in my ears.

"Tasya, scream for me," I pant.

A shriek of pain rattles me awake. My hands grip the sheets underneath me as I listen closely. A voice comes from the open balcony window. An image of Tasya flickers in the moonlight. She was wearing the same loose clothes when we were together on the roof. A large tear at her pant leg exposes a great deal of her skin. She screams as she grabs at her knee. Her skin turns purple as blood drips carelessly from a cut. Her leg seemed to twist in a strange direction. Her eyes, drenched in tears, pull me from the bed.

"Loki! Please help me!!"

I spring toward her as she rolls away in pain. She disappears as I was close to her, inches away from my fingertips. My arm flailed in front of me, hoping to find her invisible. I found nothing, only heard her wails echo in my ears.

The dawn's light blind me instantly as I shot up from the bed. My eyes scan the room, all windows and door, shut and locked. It must have been a dream.

I look out the window and smile to the colors, tugging at my chest, to pull me back to her. I phase my clothes on, not wanting to waste a second more than I had to but the helmet would have been a bit much. Just a little something to show I was ready to bring her to her rightful place in the realm Eternal. My eyes go to the bedside table where the books were stacked nicely. My hands fly to her journal and find her ripped cloth. I bring it to my nose and inhale deeply, her scent bringing back memories of her. It ties back to the loop in my pants and I tuck her necklace into the pocket of my armor.

The halls, the garden, the rainbow bridge are all but familiar. I mount my horse and ride to the Bifrost, sure to save my energy. Heimdall waits at the opening with a firm gaze.

"Welcome back, Loki."

"You know where she is? Right now?"

"Be sure to brace yourself. She has been alone for a great while. She called your name for the longest without a response and may not understand."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Heimdall steps up to his platform and activates the Bifrost. The wheels turn, moving together as light fills the universe.

"One more thing, your highness."

"Yes?"

"The man is there with her. Now is the time to help her."

The man. The one that took Tasya on the kitchen table as my mind was forced to watch. My hand clutched the dagger at my side.

"I am greatful for your watch, Heimdall. Thank you."

"She is on the top level, behind the oldest looking wooden door."

The sound of his sword fully opening the Bifrost pulls me across the stars as my body shakes with anticipation.

My feet land on the roof of a small building. The mid-morning sun burns bright over head as I survey the land around me. I feel myself frown as my eyes scan the roof floor and then I realize it. This was where Tasya feel off the edge. I walk over to the edge and see the balcony below. Faint blood stains cover part of the floor below. I spot a door behind me. I follow it to the top floor below. I enter the building's hallway and find the oldest door next to me.

The wood was indeed old and flaking. Small wooden chips cover the base of the door. I smooth my hair back and find myself stopping. Heimdall said the man was with her. So right now, looks woundn't matter. I was here now, for her and that's what counted.

I knock on the door, hearing nothing. I put my ear to the door and listen as I knock again. I can make out voices.

"Answer the fucking door."

It was the man, meaning she was inside. The sound of a slap wakes me from the daze of waiting. I hear her voice, exclaiming from the slap. This heathen was only digging his grave deeper. The footsteps quicken behind the door and the doorknob turns. The door opens as my Tasya looks up at me.

"Hello, my love."

She sighs, in surprise and disbelief. The door opens on its own as it reveals the consequences of my absence. Her brown hair cascaded over her shoulders, losing the life to her curls. Her once beautiful skin was now pale and sickly. Under the hem of her dress was a dark bandage that covered her damaged knee. She took hold of the door, limping to try and keep herself steady.

Something was changed about her. On Asgard, she was a headstrong, independent woman, always challenging my words, fighting. Now she was sulken little animal, there was no fight in her step and it looked as if she was afraid of her own shadow. A new shadow snatched the door from her hand as the man appears next to her.

"The fuck are you, man?"

"You have my woman, mortal and I suggest you give her back."

The man slowly curves his fingers around the back of her neck, rubbing the skin as she looks away to the floor in fear.

"You've got the wrong door, Prick. Fuck off."

He slams the door in my face. My hand shoots up and pound on the wood, seconds from me tearing it off its hinges. The man opens the door again. Before he has any time to threaten me, I grab him by the throat and lift him high up to the wall. I didn't see his fingers tangled in Tasya's hair as he tried to keep her from running. She yelled as she clawed at his hand. When she was able to get away, she fled in the next room and watched.

"As I said before mortal. You have my woman, you will no longer harm her as I've seen you done already." His fingers grab at my arm but I hold my grip firm.

"Loki," says Tasya from the next room. Her voice is soft as it was before. "Just let him go, he's not worth it."

"You're lucky she is here, scum. If not for that, you would have already been dead by now. Get out of here while I allow you to."

I let him go as he falls to the floor coughing and turn to make my way to Tasya. As I stand fast to embrace her, she kneels quickly out of the reach of my arms, grabbing something from the cushion of a nearby chair. She is quick to push me to the side as the man tackles her to the floor in my place. I crash into the wall as she gains the upper hand, thrusting something into his chest from above. He cries out in pain as she loosens her grip from his chest. Sticking out from his muscles is Frigga's Luna blade.

"Where did you get that?"

"Your mother gave it to me." She looks down at the man as she stays straddled over him for a while longer. Her legs have his arms pinned down. She places her finger on the top of the handle and pushes it from side to side, letting a small grin show. The man thrashes from the pain as he reaches up for the blade, she slaps his hands away. "I don't expect you to understand so I explain slowly. He was the one I went to when you tossed me in the streets. He cared for me and was willing to give me the world if I wanted it. He is everything I've ever wanted. Here's the difference between him and me. He is a gentleman and you should be grateful that he just saved your life because he hestiated to kill you."

She holds his chest down as she slowly withdraws the blade. Blood drips from the blade and stains his bare skin. His chest heals as he looks at the bare flesh, stunned.

"Next time," she says plunging the dagger into his flesh again, he scream of pain leaving a satisfying grin on my face, "I won't be so courteous."

She pulls the blade out again and pushes herself to her feet. The man scrambles to his feet and backs towards the door, seeing no cut marks on his chest. She steps forward, flipping the blade in her hand.

"If I ever see you again, I am going to kill you, Earl. Now get out and don't come back."

He opens his mouth to speak and she spins, flinging the knife at the wall behind him, slicing part of his ear. It was a throw that I remember Frigga showing me many years ago. The growl that came out of her throat made my blood stir. He steps forward to her one last time as blood rushes down the side of his neck. Her hands glow white as she screams.

"I said GET OUT!"

He rushes into the hallway without looking back. Tasya is steadfast as she rocks back and forth on her feet. I place my hand on her shoulder.

"Tasya?"

She gasps, taking in a breath as she reaches for the door. Her hand fumble with the various locks, sliding them all into place. Her breath catches as she sees me again, standing in her chambers. She races to me as fast as her leg will allow. I feel obligated to stop her from walking, but instead, she pushes my hand down and throws herself at me with her arms around my neck, pulling me tightly against her.

I tremble as she does more to get closer and closer. Her legs wrap around me and her fingers twine my hair, scratching tenderly at my scalp. Her hands wanted to move lower but were caught in my tight embrace. I miss the feel of my Tasya in my arms, the way her skin felt next to mine.

I didnt remember her skin being as hot and fevered as it was now. Her forehead too warm against the palm of my hand. My woman had taken ill. I wanted to take her to the floor and make love to her. Instead, I sink into the reclined chair with her in my arms, our tears fall together as she pulls my face up to kiss her. I never forgot how soft her lips were. Her tongue passes my lips as I taste her. I break the kiss and look to her. The side of her cheek as smooth under my thumb. She wanted so much to please me in her sickly state.

"Come on, lay down. Can't have you ill, can we...? You're no good to me like this. Lay back, let me take care of you."

"I'm not dreaming. You're really here?" she whispers.

"I almost want to ask the same thing."

I reach for the blanket behind us, to keep her warm. My hand turns blue to cool her skin. The feel of my hand on her head makes her gasp at first but she sighs in relief. The rest of my skin fades for her as I pull her tighter. Her searing skin began to cool as her eyes close.

"Loki," she whispers as she falls into sleep. Little by little my skin turns back. The sun sets, leaving us in darkness. The sound of her breathing gives me assurance that she is still mine.

"Heimdall," I whisper, "I may be staying for only a short while. Let them know that we are safe."

We. We are safe.


	4. Almost lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost lover  
> -A fine frenzy

I only rest for part of the night. For most of the night, I stay awake and make sure she is cared for. As morning appraoches, she wakes up terrified like the past day had never happened. Her skin returns to it rosy color as she sees herself wrapped in my arms. She tries her best to find words but can only cry. She tries to hide the shame in her eyes. I pull her up and trace my lips on hers, wanting her to feel anything but sadness.

"Yes, I am here. I have co..." She lifts herself from the chair, not wanting to hear my words. I am already aware that she wouldn't understand me not coming back for her. She also wouldn't understand what power she held that brought her back to her own time on Midgard. She limps to a hallway as I follow close behind. She disappears into the first of three doors, revealing it to be a wash room.

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk way too much," she snickers. She undoes the bandage on her leg as she leans against the wall. I kneel to help her.

"Dove, you need proper care," I say as I finish unwrapping her knee. I look up, feeling her eyes burn into me as she turns on the water to her bath. She takes my hand, letting it slowly reach up her dress. Her skin was still so memzerizing.

"Then take care of me, Loki. Please..."

Without another word, I disgard my clothes and begin to peel hers off. I'm surprised only to find her lower undergarment under her dress. She steps into the shower as I make my way in after her. I strip her cloth as the warm water trickles down her body. I kiss her stomach, moving lower as I lift her hurt leg over my shoulder. My eyes burn with pure lust as water drips from her apex.

I run my tongue over her skins, feeling the slickness on my tongue. She gasps as I spread her a bit farther with my fingers. She moans as my tongues massages to her. Such a beautiful taste. I lick the warm water and pleasure from her, letting it nurish me. Her hips rock in the movement of my tongue. She did her best to keep quiet, she really did.

I push my finger into her, stroking her velvet walls as I lightly tease the rest of her sex with the tip of my tongue. Her voice rose with her body quivering to the wall as she came. I greatly savor the juice from her, lapping away as if my life depended on it. I quickly move up her body, thrusting my tongue past her lips to let her know what she tastes like. She moans into my mouth as I sit on the edge of the tub.

"Do you trust me?"

"You, the God of Mischief?" I wrap my fingers around the edge of her knee as she looks down with worried eyes. "What are you going to do?"

"Take care of you, one pain at a time," I whisper. "It will hurt as it mends but I can give you something to take your mind off the pain."

She understands, biting her lips as I position myself for her and she slowly descends upon me. My mouth falls open to her walls, constricting around my cock. I start to push into her as my magic starts to heal her extremity. She winces as the bone starts to shift. I lean back to make her comfortable.

"Use me, pet, to make it easier." She takes a deep breath and gives me permission to continue.

"Just make it quick. The faster you finish, the faster you'll be able to use both hands."

My hand glows bright to her skin which shifts in place. The tendons repair quickly as she lunges forward and sucks at the skin on my neck. She growls into my neck, bouncing herself on my lap, trying to counter the pain with pleasure. Her nails dig hard into my shoulder as she rides faster. I act fast as her knee heals with a pop, making her yelp in pain.

I grab her hips with both hands, slamming into her with force as she arches backward. My mouth moves to her chest as her thighs and mine start to tremble. She braces my legs as she climaxes on my lap. Tasya grabs on to my shoulder, gripping my hair like an anchor. My teeth sink into her shoulder as she moans deeply, riding her orgasm as empty inside her.

She falls limp against me as I notice the shower water had run cold. I relax on the wall as I almost taste copper in my mouth. She is too exhausted to notice that I nearly broke her skin. I look to her shoulder, seeing my mark on her fade. In seconds, the teeth marks disappear and I feel myself confused.

Tasya lifts herself up, planting a kiss on my lips.

"I missed you so much, Loki." I wrap a towel around her to dry her off. She smiles, taking my hand, leading me to out to the last door in the hall. A messy room is covered in men's clothes as she steps to a closet and comes back to the door with my tunic folded in her hands. The putrid smell distracts me that I didn't see her partially dressed as she opens the windows for air. She hestitates for a second, frozen in place. I had seen her like this before.

She fixes herself as she returns to me, offering me my own tunic to wear.

"Here."

"No. It belongs to you, pet."

She smiles through the wet strands of her hair.

"Don't call me pet," she giggles. There was something she wasn't telling me and it was going to break my heart for what I was about to do. I dip my head to her, tilting her as her hair falls back from her shoulders. "Loki?"

I kiss a pathway across her collarbone, then up to her earlobe as my tongue traces the edge of her ear. She is powerless to move away as she molds to my body. My mouth goes back down to the base of her neck, picking a tender spot. I shudder and take a breath, praying to the Gods that I was wrong. I'm sorry, my dear.

I press an open mouth kiss to her neck. My lips take hold of her, sucking hard at the flesh as my tongue massages her skin. Her hands grab my naked back. Minutes pass by as she whimpers from the pleasure, her body slowly bucking on its own. I hide my erection between my thighs to keep me focused. I let go as her head falls back and my heart sinks as my mark on her skin fades away.

"Where did it go?"

"What?" She sees the look in my eyes and slips away. I stop her before she can go further. "Get out of my way, Loki."

"What happened to my mark, Tasya? What are you hiding?" Then it dawned on me. Marks. The man was hurting her and there was no evidence. She found a way to hide the damage that was made to her with her magic. Frigga must have taught her illusions as well. "Show me."

Tasya clutches the towel close as I grab her wrist. "Stop it!"

"Show me, Tasya!"

"No!" She turns around as tears fall from her eyes. "Please. Just stop it."

"Illusions take so much energy, Tasya. Your body needs..." I found it hard to form words. "Just show me."

Her closed fist pounds the wall behind her as she closes her eyes. Her body leans to the wall as her beautiful, clear skin shows patches of color. In my sleep, only her back and arms showed little color of hurt. What I saw then was a line on a piece of paper compared to this. Brusies covered most of her body. Fresh purple mixed with healing yellow and red welts to fill the spaces between. Burn marks covered her arms and hands. Finger prints cover her legs, with the exception of the normal flesh on the knee that I just healed. Cuts donned her face and her full lips were split from the abuse. My love had been beaten and crushed down to size, draining whatever ounce of life she had as I slept.

She tried to catch her falling towel as her tears dripped down her skin. Her sobs turned eerily into panting rage. She glared at me as she stood from the wall. All I could do now was attempt to calm her before she accidently stepped through another portal.

"Where were you?"

"Tasya, you need to breathe."

"Where were you when I called you?"

"I wasn't able to come get you."

"What took you so fucking long?!" My gaze goes to the table in the kitchen area. "Didn't you hear me?"

"I saw what he did to you and I was powerless to stop it." She follows my eyes and her breath falters. Her hand covers her mouth in shock. "That was you in the chair, wasn't it?"

My throat feels like it closes as I shake my head. She bends over, stepping into a pair of shorts. She slips the tunic on and pushes her way to the main room.

"Tasya, you don't understand. Let me explain..."  
  
"Did you at least enjoy the show?!"

"Why didn't you fight back?"

She stopped as she opened her front door to leave. She charged me, trying her best to shove me to the floor.

"I told you before I wasn't a good person. I deserved everything that came to me. I screamed for you 'til my throat hurt and you still didn't show."

"There was nothing I could do."

"Just get the fuck out."

"I'm not back to Asgard without you!"

Her rage finally submerges to the surface as she swings her fists as me. I do my best to shield her blows. I try to grab her but she is too fast. She pushes me towards the door as she screams.

"I said get out! Get out, I hate you! Get out!"

I stand naked in the hallway as she slams the door in my face. Behind the door, she strikes the walls, letting out her grief and anger as her lungs start to give out from her screams. She didn't deserve any of this.

I summon my clothes back to my body and walk back to the stairs that led to the roof. My body feels a cooled breeze as I assend the top of the stairs. The door sticks as I push my way outside. The warm summer air is gone and snow piles up to my shins.

"Impossible."

I cloak myself and rush back to Tasya's door. In place of the rotted wooden door, there is a smooth door. A plain door with designs around the edges similar to her bedchamber door on Asgard. Something had changed. I knock on the door and wait.

Thoughts run wild in my mind, trying to think. After a moment, I lean beside the door. Her door opens and she steps out. My mouth drops as I she her again. The frail little animal was gone as she stood tall. Her hair had returned to its formal glory as it was tied back.

"Well, I guess no one's there," she says cheerfully with her back still turned. I move around to see her face as she turns back to the door. An infant moves around in her arms. I look to the small child as Tasya makes it smile. "I guess Santa got the wrong address."

The newborn falls asleep in her arms. She small smile graces her face as a quiet sob escapes me. She takes notice. In one fluid movement, she reaches into her boot, grabbing the Luna blade, throwing it at my face. The blade bounced off the wall as I ducked at the last minute. She picks the knife up from the floor as her eyes shift around to the door and the empty hallway.

"Tasa!"

A small boy stops at the door as she hides the weapon back into her boot. The boy grabs her arm, pulling her back into the apartment.

"You said we can't start the movie without you." I follow them, wondering how the change happened. Three children and the baby fill her chambers with laughter. "Hold on," she says pulling away, "We can't leave the door open. Everyone on the couch and try to be quiet, Sarah needs to sleep." She sets the baby down in a crib as she attends to the other children.

_I looked after children._

I remember her revealing that back on Asgard. She watches the children as they play amoungst themselves, watching the talking fish on the screen. Part way through, she arrives with blankets.

"Nap time, guys. Pick your spots." She wraps the first two children as the third approaches me. The young boy stands and looks up. He points his finger to the empty chair behind me.

"My apologizes, little one." The boys climbs into the reclined chair as Tasya kneels beside the boy and covers him, planting a kiss on his forehead. He looks up and points to me. She turns her head and sees nothing.

"You got a friend with you?" He shakes his head. "Well tell him to come back and play later. 'Kay honey?" He shakes his head again. I put my finger to my lips, to stay silent. One by one the children fall asleep as Tasya clears the floor of toys. As the day stretches on, the children leave with their guardians. The last child, the only boy, reaches out to hug her, tears running down his face.

"Don't worry, I'll come visit you. Just be a good boy, okay?"

He shakes his head, whispering something into her ear. He runs into his mother's arms as he waves to goodbye to a smiling Tasya. With her chambers empty, she walks around finishing tidying things. The baby in the crib awakens, crying out to her. She picks the child up and shushes her, craddling her in her arms. For a moment, I see her back on Asgard, wrapped in satin as she holds the child she lost close to her.

"I guess now we just wait for Daddy to get home."

The child was hers? How was this? Gods, please don't let this innocent young belong to that monster that dared touched Tasya in a foul manner. If the young was her newborn then... No. I was only with her earlier. I held her in my arms, made love to her, healed part of her, only to see more pain. She was ready to leave her chambers. Until she pushed me out first.

That was the answer. She pushed me into the portal that was meant for her. I was pushed into the future. Now here she was, a mother but not to my child. I retreat myself down the hall to her bedchambers as she stayed in the main room, singing to the young. I close the door behind me, seeing the clean, bare chamber. I sit on the neat bed, running my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself.

This was bound to happen. Months had passed, I was gone and she found someone to love, someone that understood her. I quiet my sobs the best I can, letting my brokenheart be heard. I wipe my eyes dry and make my way out to the main room to face reality. If I was going to let her go, to say goodbye to one I thought would stay mine forever, I would stay to see the man that made her dreams come true.

I see my angel, sitting in her window sill with the baby, cooing softly in her lap.

"Look, Sarah! It's snowing! Yay!" She lightly grabs the baby's fists, waving them in the air as the baby giggles. She looks out the window and smiles, letting light shine through her features. "It's Daddy! He's here!"

My heart wretches in my chest as I take in every moment. Every giggle, every turn of her curves as she holds the child close, the flicker of happiness in her eyes. A knock on the door startles me. I raise to my feet, not realizing I had sat down, wishing I could make myself know to her. If I did however, I would remind her of the pain I caused her. She walks to the door. I savor each step, feeling my insides cave in as she disappears at the door.

"Look," she whispers, "It's both Daddies!"

Wait, both?!

I slowly walk around the corner seeing two gentlemen at her door reaching out for the baby. Both men embrace the child. My hand covers my mouth with relief. One of them hold out a piece of paper. She shakes her head in confusion.

"What's this?"

"Something to help start you off, for all your help with us. We are grateful for you." The first man shakes his head, agreeing.

"I just wish you could have seen her grow."

"That's what picture messaging is for. I'll stop by the ground floor next week before I say goodbye."

The men start down the hallway as Tasya closes the door, locking it behind her. She places the paper on a shelf. She reaches back, stretching until she relaxes herself. Her hand reaches for a device as music fills her chambers. She stands still as the song plays. Her mouth moves to copy the words, her voice quiet.

She swings her arms, her head thrown back as she bellows out.

_I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't_

_let go of what's in front of me here_

_I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up_

_leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream_

_oh, oh_

I was almost too distracted to notice as she reached into her boot and flung her Luna blade in my direction. I could have easily ducked and let the blade hit the wall again. I know better than to stay hidden longer than I should. I catch the blade and make myself seen.

"Gotcha, Trickster."

I toss the knife down and feel every possible emotion consume me. She sprints to me, jumping into my arms as she has done before. She laughs with excitement as I lower her to the floor, to keep the promise I made to myself. Her lips crash to mine as she arches closer, I pull her clothes from her body, rending her bare and phase mine away without hestitation. My lips move down her neck, remembering her taste again.

"I'm sorry."

She pulls me down to her as she flips me on my back.

"Loki, you still talk too much."

My palms flatten over her curves as she straddles me. She lifts and lowers around my cock as her head falls back.

"You feel so perfect, my dear."

Her lungs fill with pleasure as I grind myself up. I almost lost her and now she was mine again. My hips raise up, matching her hips as I rock faster. Her nails claw at my sides as her gasps spur me. She mewls louder as she quickly tenses around me. I ride harder into her, using her wave to release inside her core. She bends forward, out of breath, kissing my chest. I roll our bodies onto our side and pull her close. She stops me, to pull herself up. She presses her finger to my lips and takes my hand leading me from the floor. Her hands glow white as she silences her device. She leads me, in all her naked glory, to her bed chambers.

She pushes her sheets aside as she climbs in. Her hand stays held to mine as I lay next to her without arguement. Her body molds to mine as I put my arm around her. My nose fills with the sweet smell of her hair.

"We both have questions," she whispers over my chest, "but I'm sure they can all wait until morning."

I pull the blankets around us as she pulls up to kiss my lips one last time.

"Just be here when I wake up, woman."

 


	5. Don't wake me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't wake me up  
> -Chris Brown

Should I open my eyes or keep them shut?

Everytime I open my eyes, he disappears. If they stay shut then I can dream that he's here but I feel him. His bare chest against my cheek, his arm holding me tight, his cock growing harder everytime my thigh brushes over it. He can't disappear again. I wouldn't be able to take it, to face a day of the world and be alone before the new year starts.

I can hear him laugh through his nose.

"What are you thinking about, pet?"

"I'm trying to decide if you're still here or not."

"If not?"

"Then it'd be the best wet dream I ever had."

My head bounces on his chest as he roars with laughter, making my eyes open.

"And if it's real," he asks, tracing my lips with his thumb.

"Then you get to follow me to work. Come on." I roll out of bed before he can catch me. I obviously slept in but would make it to the dine-in with some time to spare. All I had to do was get his majesty dress in under ten minutes.

"Get back here. Now," he orders smuggly. I shimmy into my clothes, knowing he's watching, without turning back.

"Nope. This isn't Asgard. You're on my turf for now. That means I work."

"Work? For a maiden like yourself?"

"Yes. Two jobs. If I were you, I'd get some clothes on." I quickly step into the rest of my clothes as Loki's shimmers on a suit like he just came off of a catwalk in Italy. "Absolutly not. Regular clothes."

My hands rush over my desk to shove things into my over bag. I turn around and see Loki dressed in a green v-neck similar to his tunic, plain jeans and boots. I didn't notice he had me against the wall.

"Will this suffice, my lady?"

I blush as he pulls me from the wall. This definately wasn't fair. I slink away as I pull on my parka.

"You need a jacket, if you hadn't noticed, it's winter outside."

He waves his hand, summoning a thick overcoat. I rush from the room as my watch beeps. I grab the check from the shelf.

"Come on! I'm gonna be late."

He smiles as I shove him out the door, slamming it locked behind me. We make the basement and shuffle to the car.

"Get in." Loki obeys without a word. "Buckle in, please."

The engine turns and we make our way out. Loki take a few minutes to adjust himself to the cramp conditions of the small car. I wave through traffic as Loki takes in the city surroundings.

"Simple architechture, not really like Asgard."

I keep my eyes to the morning road. I can feel him look away from the city and have his eyes graze me. I almost turn to him as a car suddenly cuts in front of me. I slam my brakes and Loki braces the sides of the car. My hand blares the horn as the people on the street watch.

"Oi, Fucker! You ever hear of the right of way!" I look up and see Loki staring at me, then to my arm as it was still up to protect him. "What?" He chuckles.

"I would have survived. Do you always pilot your vehicle like this?"

"Please, my driving is fine. Its everyone else that needs wake up."

We push on until we arrive. I watch my footing in the snow as he follows closely behind. I point to the back of the Dine-In and shrug out of my coat as the warm heaters of the door kiss my skin.

"Go pick a booth at the back. That's my area. Look at the menus, pick something to eat." He turns and starts walking. I rush into the kitchen and toss my things into an empty locker. I clock in with two minutes to spare. I tie my apron and make my way out as the waitress before me leaves for the day. She grabs my arm and pulls me to the side.

"Who is that?!"

"Who?"

"There's an impossibly hot guy at the door asking for you." She pushes me out the door and into Loki's arms. The day was just getting better and better. "I didn't know you had a man."

"Yes, I do," I turn to Loki, "I said go sit down."

"I just wanted to tell you to have a good day."

He leans down with his hands in his pockets. His lips meet mine, giving me a short kiss. He leaves me before I can kiss him back, standing with the night waitress.

"Well, damn girl."

My head stays to the floor as I try to hide my blush.

"Yeah, I know."

Work is easy as I serve my customers. The rush was slow for the first few hours as it would be the next few days but all that didn't matter to me. Today would be my last day. Sooner or later, I'd have to tell Loki.

Shit, Loki.

I'd forgotten he was alone at the other side of the Dine-In waiting for me. My tights rub together under my shorts as I rush to Loki with sweet tea. I smile as he looks up from a menu he's been reading.

"Sorry about that. I should have asked you what you drank. We don't exactly sell wines here."

"That's alright, young woman."

I peek up from my writing pad as he grins.

"Is this suppose to be a game?" I whisper.

"I'm not quite sure. I come here to meet someone but it would seem she is tied up in other important affairs."

"Well, that's unfortunate."

"Indeed. Now I'm here all by myself, a lonesome traveler and I haven't had anything to eat in about two days, give or take which side of the portal you step through."

"You won't have to worry about a thing. I can make sure you're taken care of, sir. Is there something I can get you?"

"How about you, on a silver platter, please."

"Sorry, sir. I'm _reserved,_ I'm afraid _._ " His face softens and cheers up to what I remembered back in Asgard. I kiss the top of his head, knowing he broke character. "Are you allergic to anything? Is there anything you can't eat or drink?"

"You, apparently."

I walk away, snickering under my breath. I remembered how Asgardians had a large appetite. A little while later, I arrive with a tray full of food. Loki had moved to the other side of the booth to get a better view of me and straightened his posture as I placed plate after plate in front of him.

"Thank you, My Lady. Are you sure you won't join the top of my table to be feasted on?"

"My apologies, Sir, but we have a strict policy on maidens being devoured in front of the other customers."

The other waitress thought I was crazy as I told her to open a tab for me and my guest. I never brought anyone to the Dine-In with me and she was impressed as she craned her neck and saw Loki slowly devour his food. During the last hour, I took his dishes and joined him in the booth. All the time he was gone, I had quickly grown to enjoy his company more. I kick off my shoes and rest my feet on the edge of his lap.

"Besides you, I think the thing I like most about Midgard is this drink. A shame we don't have something like this in the palace."

"Our sweet tea. I drink it all the time."

"I thought you tasted familiar."

I smile as I run my fingers through my loose hair.

"So... Do you want to go first or should I?"

"I believe you deserve the first question."

"When I came back that night, where did you go?"

He sighs, drumming his fingers on his placemat.

"When you fell back here, you fell back to your own time."

I thought back to when I got back to the apartment. I had stayed on Asgard for three months but when I come back a whole year had passed. "That explains the time difference. So when did I fall to the first time?"

"A little while before you were born."

"How do you know it was before then?"

He reaches for my hand across the table and holds it.

"The night you fell, I heard you screaming in my head. I came to Midgard and followed the screams. They lead to a hospital. The night you were born."

"Bullshit..." I stop myself before I go any further. With whatever was happening to me, I wasnt really surprised at whatever else might have happened. "What did you see?"

"Your mother. You looked just like her. She made sure you were delivered safely before she passed." After all these years, I had never given much thought to my mother or father. Most days, it was just best to put them at the back of my mind. "I knew I couldn't keep you so I left you in anothers care. The next day on Asgard, the Warriors and I were sent back to deal with a pressing matter. There was an accident and I was injured. I believe your people call it comatose."

"For how long?"

"Until the day before I came back you."

"23 years. Shit. Then I guess it was a good thing I didn't stay."

"How old are you now?"

"I'll be 24 soon. How old are you?"

"1047 years."

"Oh. So you like your girls young."

"I like my girl in my arms, welcoming me home as she throws her arms around my neck."

"Yeah. Now I know how you like me."

"From the roof until I saw you at the door, how long was it?"

"April to July, so three months."

"Then after that?"

"July to December. Five? Yeah, plus the three, that's eight. Where were you for eight months?"

"When you removed me from your chambers, you pushed me into a portal that was meant for you. I saw there was things amiss. I wanted to apologize and expected you to be in an undeserved foul manner but now I see you so happy and content. Were you waiting for me to come back?"

"I always was but," shit, this was going to be fun, "that night, I waited for you to come back for me and eventually I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, I found your mother at my bedside."

"Frigga was there?"

"Well, at least an illusion was. She told me what happened and asked where you had gone. They said Heimdall had a premonition and you were coming back but you arrived a week early. Who's Heimdall?"

"You'll meet his soon enough. Were you planinng on going somewhere?"

I raise my eyebrow.

"Maybe but as I said, you're a whole week early."

"So you plan on coming back?"

"Fuck, Loki, yes, but I can't just leave at once. I have to do this shit properly."

"Like when you said goodbye the children."

"Yeah, I don't know to many people so this will be a bit easier." He smiles as he runs his thumb over the farbic that covered my legs.

"So, you are coming back? To be with me?"

"See," I giggle, "You're not listening because you're talking so damn much." He chuckles as my toes poke him in his side. "Loki, I want to train to be a warrior, to fight beside you and the rest of the warriors," I take his hand, playfully lacing his fingers, "and in time, yes, I will marry you. Just not right now. We have all the time in the world as long as we're careful."

"Thank you," he says kissing the back of my hand. "When do we leave?"

"I've already kept you longer than I should have but I just need another day to prepare. So the day after tomorrow. Then we'll leave. Deal?"

"Deal."

"I just need you to contain yourself a bit so that I can finish everything that I need to do, okay?" The face gives him away as he restrains his lips from peeling from his teeth to show a wolfish grin. "I only have another hour and then we'll leave."

"Sounds adaquite." I take his cup and refresh his tea. Cool.

 


	6. Stay with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with you  
> -Goo Goo Dolls

It felt good to turn over my apron and leave the Dine-In. The tab took a good chunk of my check but soon I won't need the money. I had Loki wait outside as I went to deposit the check that Sarah's parents gave me. I wasn't sure of what to do with the money but altogether I had a suffitant amount. Almost $2200 from hard work. 

I closed my account and seperated the money into envelopes, tucking them all away in my bag. I had talked with a waitress' brother and told him of furnature he could have. I told him he could retrieve it the day after NewYears. Everything just had to be packed and organized. I hauled Loki up the stairs to my apartment. 

"Stay here," I say unlooping the car keys. I open my neighbor's door and toss them inside as Loki waits. 

"That wasn't your vehicle?"

"Nope," I close the door and push past him to my own.

As soon as I opened the door, his arms scooped me up over his shoulder. With a kick of his boot, he slammed the door shut and carried me to the bedroom. 

"Wait!" I was shocked when he slapped my cheek. "Loki, I have a tight schedule. You promised!"

"I did promise," he says, lowering me to my bed, "but that schedule isn't the only thing that's tight, pet. I just need a little bit of you before I lose my mind. Then I promise to behave."

"Really?"

"Yes." I feel the energy in his hands as all of my clothes disappear. He climbs ontop of me, his clothes teasing my skin. I pull at his shirt and jeans.

"Get rid of these."

"No." 

He was trying to get back at me for this morning but I wasn't the one with a blazing erection. I shouldn't have lain so close to him this morning but I didnt care. I find him deliciously hard through his pants, my fingers wrapping tight around him as he hisses through his teeth.

"Now. Take them off slowly. Without the magic." I raise to my knees and slightly spread my legs for him to see. He removes his shirt and stares at me with hooded eyes. I'm able to slap his hand away when he tries to touch my skin. "Turn around and sit on the edge."

He moves slowly as he removes his pants. I'm so surprised at his self-control. He bends over as my finger caress the muscles on his back. He was a bit lean compared to the other warriors. Each muscle tensed as my fingers travel lower. Fingertips down his sides, nails lightly scraping. His breathing quickly picked up as I pressed myself at his back, my fingers teasing the insides of his thighs, carefully not to touch his cock. I pull my hands away as I hear a groan came from him. I kiss his broad shoulder, feeling him shudder.

"Touch yourself," I whisper as he moans from my kisses. He grabs himself and moves his closed fist around his cock. "Close your eyes, Loki. Picture me in front of you. What am I doing?"

"You're, mmm... You're standing in front of me, pet. You have a look in your eye as you kneel down in front of me. You're teasing my head with your lips, you little minx." My mouth moves up his collarbone. I grab on to his other shoulder and press my chest to his back, moving my breasts up and down his spine. 

"I always loved you calling me a minx. Give me your hand." He lets himself go as I take his hand and lick his palm, covering it generously with my saliva. I push his hand back to his lap. "Continue."

He covers his cock again with my lubricant and his moans excite me. My lips sucks roughly on the side of his neck. My free hand slides between my legs, stroking my the folds of my skin as I let go of his neck.

"You smell delicious, Tasya."

"What am I doing now?"

"Your on my lap and you have my cock in your hand, teasing me at your core. Mmm. S-Stop teasing me, Tasya. I need to be inside you now."

I push him back and I move around to sit on his lap. His hardeness presses underneath me as he sits up and paws at my skin. His hand tweaks my nipple slowly and I feel his other at my throat is tilt my head. I grind on his lap and feel his grip tighten. He pushes me into the nearest wall and guides my legs around his waist. 

It only takes one push for him to sheath into my wetness. His hips pushed me higher into the wall until I was completely pinned with only a few inches of breathing room. He took my hands, pinning them up over my head as the other held my hips tightly. I gasped each time he slammed against my cervix. 

"My Tasya, always so fucking tight for me."

"Oh, God," my lips reached froward and tasted the sweet sweat on his neck. His lips attach to my neck, sucking my neck with a fericious growl. "Loki, I'm close," I pant. He moves faster, knocking the breath out of me. His feral growls to my throat vibrate down my chest. His body still pins mine as I come. My mouth drops giving a silent scream of pleasure. He pops off of my neck with a loud, wet smack.

"That was too soon, my harlot." The sound his hips slapping against my wet skin fills the room as I writhe to the wall. "So wet, my dear. I enjoy how your seed drips down my legs."

I smile when he hinders for a moment before pounding hard into my tightened walls, he digs his teeth into my shoulder as he comes hard, growling as his seed drips down with mine.

I weaken as he lowers me to the bed.

"You call that a little bit?" I ask as he collapses to the bed next to me.

"What can I say, I could never resist you." 

"I can't believe I let you do this."

"Just this one time, then I'll help you any way you need."

-

I wake up in the middle of the night. Loki stays asleep on his back. For a moment, I see him move but I ignore it as I close the bedroom door. I dress with whatever I find in the laundry and make myself busy by organizing things by what will go to whom. My hands work to open the trashbags without causing to much noise. 

Most things were junk as bag before bag is piled by the door. I loop all the trash in my hands as I haul them outside to the dumpsters. The sweat from my body cools off instantly as I climb the stairs again. As I reach the second floor, my landlord Lena steps out with a cigarette in her mouth. Her normal walk at one in the morning.

"Hey, Tas. Having trouble sleeping again?"

"Hey Lena. Just finishing up some last minute things before I leave."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you. You leaving with that guy I keep hearing about?"

"Yes, its complicated but I'm ready. I leave on the first."

"Well, before you runaway and I never see you again, you should stop by and have one last bang out with us here. A lot of people are coming and you can bring your boy-toy with you."

"Thanks man. If you want when I leave, you can have whatever electronics that are left."

"No shit?"

"Good night, Lena. I'll see you soon."

I find myself in the silence of my apartment as I listen to the bedroom door. Nothing. He must still be asleep. I shower quickly as the hot water runs out. I find Loki on the couch as I return.

"Hey there."

"Do you ever sleep?"

"Sometimes but I was out for a few hours," I stroke his hair, "Thanks to you."

His hand runs up my leg, his fingers rest at my knee.

"Anything to help the lady. You're always so warm."

"The shower. It's gone cold for now if you're gonna wait for the water to build."

"No," he says making his way to the bathroom, "I never found the cold bothersome."

"I remember."

He smiles as he shuts the door behind him. I turn the small light on to my room and dress in a loose shirt and panties. I sit on the edge of the bed and look around. Soon, the past few years would be nothing but a bad dream. I'd be with Loki again. My eyes shoot up as Loki enters as his blue skin fades to normal.

"You can leave it if you want. It's really beautiful." He turns blue again as he sits naked between my legs. I lean back and reach for my dresser for my brush. The brissles flow through Loki's hair effortlessly as I untangle the ends of his hair. He sighs as he kisses the scar on the inside of my knee. His fingers play with my calves as I finish.

"All done. What are you thinking about?"

"Where is he?" Shit. I knew it was only gonna be a matter of time before he asked about Earl.

"In jail. For assault. He keeps getting his time extended for getting into trouble on the inside. He can rot for all I care."

"Good."

"I can't forgive you, you know." He exhales sharply as he buries his face into my leg. "I can't forgive you because you did nothing wrong. What matters is that you came back to me."

I lift myself onto the bed and move under the covers. He stays on the floor as he turns and all I can see is his beautiful red eyes. I giggle at the way he looks.

"Stalking your prey, my beautiful creature?" He lifts his head and begins crouthing on the bed, slowly crawling to me as his towel falls. 

"You look positively supple enough a morsle to eat, my dear. What awaits for the croutching beast, hidden lover? The display from flesh waiting to be devoured." He pulls my shirt off and I jump at his cold hands. He stops as he tries to pull away. I grab him and pull him back as his chest falls to mine. I wrap my legs around him so he can't make a getaway. "No, Tasya, not like this."

He slips away as he sits on his knees. 

"If you have made a promise to wed me, then I will make one to you. One day, I'll make love to you in this form but..." His voice trails off, "I'm not sure how to explain."

"Stop. It's okay, Loki." I press my hand to his cool cheek. "You're worrying about this all too much. Be mortal."

"What?"

"Since we're leaving soon and we'll be on Asgard, you should be mortal just for a day, to live like I do for 24 hours, then we'll leave." 

"What if something were to happen? I wouldn't be able to help you."

"Nothing is going happen this time, I promise."

"Can I just do one last thing?" He doesn't wait for me to answer as he waves his hand and nothing happens. I shake my head, confused. "What's that," he asks as he reaches behind my ear. Dangling from his fingers is my necklace. Tears flood my eyes as he places the chains into my fingers. "A day, my dear. I would give anything for you."

He holds my hands as the necklace glows brightly between our fingers. His skin melts back to normal as he exhales. He leans forward, almost exhausted as the gem turns to blue. I catch him as we fall back onto the mattress. He rolled to his side as he chained the necklace around my neck.

"Don't lose that," he said stroking the skin under the chain. "So. 24 hours. I believe we can manage that. I should have probably given myself more clothes before I turned." I turn out the light as I feel his skin next to mine.


	7. Never go back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never go back  
> -Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

_The doors always thundered closed. I had slammed it so hard, the wood cracked near the hinges. I felt too betrayed at what was happening and I knew it wasn't Loki's fault. I ran back to the rocking chair in the living room out of instinct but Earl wasn't there. He was finally gone. My feet carried me to the kitchen as I pushed open the doors to the alley, things were being left there all the time._

_I grabbed everything that was his, everything he touched, everything he bought me, told me I looked pretty in, his bathroom things... Before I knew it, most of the clothes and smaller things in the apartment were gone. I grabbed the linen and tossed them down as well as I broke out into a laugh. The fabrics swayed until they reached the pile of trash._

_I was as free as I could be as I pulled the old, dirty mattress from the bedroom. I pushed, throwing myself into the mattress until it made it into the alley below. I gathered every bit of alcohol I could find, tossing them into the alley and hearing them smash to pieces. I took off the shorts Earl liked seeing me in and stuffed one end into the last bottle of liquor._

_I'd seen other people make these things in the movies and prayed I wouldn't catch myself on fire. I lit the end with the stove burner and watched the flame dance. I dropped the bottle and watched as it smashed to the ground. The fire spread and quickly disappeared under a growing cloud of smoke. I sealed the window shut and rested on the kitchen chair with relief. After another moment, the kitchen table and its chairs went out the window as well._

_I kept my clearer mind busy with scrubbing everything down in the apartment that day. I didn't want to eat anything, I only wanted the filth of what I let happen to disappear. I blinked and it was already starting to get dark. The smell of clean was refreshing but the silence began to hurt._

_Both Earl and Loki were gone._

_I jumped at the knock on the door thinking it was Loki again. I tossed on my jeans and ran, only finding Lena's cousin with a few mattress he was giving away. The mattress was softer than what I was used to but it was better than anything I ever felt. I chanted as I shut my eyes to hide the marks all over my skin._

_I was going to have to be careful over the next few days with keeping myself hidden and safe from Earl if he was going to try any shit. I was going to need a job badly. David and Hersh were looking into a kid but they always had friends with kids. Maybe, I would need another job. I accidently bury myself in Loki's tunic and inhale his scent._

_All day I waited for him and he never came. This was the roof on Asgard all over again and he wasn't coming back for me. A whole day ago, he was on my couch in the living room. I held on to the tunic tighter wishing it was his arms to protect me and keep my safe. I remembered I cried until I fell asleep._

_Everything was peaceful until a faint grow appeared at the back of my head. At first, I thought it was a dream, then there were finger stroking at my hair softly. A soft hum woke me as I saw her._

_"Frigga?"_

_She smiled down at me with the softest look of love in her eyes._

_"Hello, my Tasya."_

_"Are you real?"_

_I reached up as my hand passed through hers. She gave a laugh as she sat on the edge of the bed._

_"I am real enough. It is good to see you again."_

_"You too."_

_"What is wrong, child?"_

_"I yelled at Loki for something that wasn't his fault. I pinned blame where it shouldn't have been and I think I accidently drove him away. Is he mad at me?"_

_"We do not know where he is. He did not return and our gatekeeper cannot see him anywhere. At first, we feared the worst but Heimdall had a vision of Loki's return."_

_"What did... he see?"_

_Frigga took my hand._

_"He saw small children, playing about and a baby, a little girl. He will return to you when the snow sticks to the ground."_

_"What should I do until then?"_

_"There is no way to know of when and where he will turn up but this is where he will go."_

_"Then I'll stay here for Loki and bring him home."_

_"Splendid. Come with me."_

_"Why?"_

_Frigga left the room with me behind her as her gown flowed around the furniture to the front door. She paused as she inspected the groove the Luna blade left in the wall._

_"This was the throw I taught you the first month."_

_"Yeah, kind of. I missed. I was aiming for his throat but I nicked his ear instead."_

_"From the blood, I say wonderful precision and great force of the throw."_

_"Thank you."_

_She turned to the door and smiled._

_"This is quite a pathetic excuse for a door, you know."_

_"I'm not really sure what's wrong with it."_

_"Perhaps I can fix it."_

_Frigga waved her hand as the door started to repair itself. The flaking at the bottom of the wood smoothed out and the paint turned to white. Designs on the door appeared almost similar to the ones in the palace._

_"This reminds me of the door to my room."_

_"You will never have to worry about the man again. When the door is closed, he or any other unwanted evil will never be allowed to cross the threshold."_

_"What about the outside?"_

_"That is what the Luna blade is for." She wrapped her arms around me, filling me with love._

_"Thank you, Frigga."_

_"Slumber well, my child. We will see each other again soon."_

A knock on the front door startles me out of my sleep. Frigga was gone and I turn wanting to feel Loki's body heat but instead, I find it empty.

"Loki?"

I dress quickly in my shorts and loose white blouse. My favorite clothes. I bother with nothing else as I grab my Luna blade from the counter as I move cautiously towards the door. The knock is weak but loud enough.

"T-Tasya, I-I don't know how to g-get in without a k-key." I take a breath as I open the door, seeing a shivering Loki. His skin is bright red and his body shakes uncontrollably. I pull him into the warm apartment as I drop my blade to the floor.

"Where did you go?"

"I only wanted to stretch my legs for a bit. I went for a walk and thought I could take the cold but this mortal shell is a bit weak." I rush to the bedroom for a thick blanket as I return and throw it over his shoulders. My hand furiously rub over his muscles trying to warm them.

"Why did you go out without the jacket, you dumbass?"

He only responds with a shaking gasp as he warms himself.

"I love you but I'm never being mortal again."

"Yeah, I agree."

I make him sit on the couch as I hurry to make a kettle for something hot for him to drink when I realize I didn't have any tea pouches or coffee to make. I run to the bathroom and test the water feeling nothing but ice after a few minutes.

"Shit!" I go back to a cold Loki hoping he wouldn't get hypothermia. I work his boots off as he stares. "Take off your shirt. I need to get you warm." He stays still, not understanding. I jerk off his pants and toss his shirt away as I discard my own shirt and let my clothes fall to the floor.

"No," he protests at first. I move under the blanket and wrap his arms around me.

"If I don't get you warm, you could go into shock and die. You're mortal now, remember?" A tear falls from his cheek as he tries to reach for my face. I place his hand in between my thighs and smile. "Did you know that the warmest place on a female is between her thighs?"

He laughs as he tries to move his hand closer but I close my legs tight around his hand.

"No, I being very serious and I fucking furious with you right now, so just stay still!"

I pull him close to my naked body as he rests his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful."

I switch his hands and hold his head to warm chest so he doesn't see my tears. After a while I press myself to his back and warm the other half of his body. The sun starts to raise as he gets warmer. The shock puts him to sleep as I cover him with every blanket I can find, being sure to wrap one around his cold feet.

I redress as I watch him asleep in the couch. He was definitely eventful, this one. I russle through the cabinet drawers for the remaining food. I hover the stovetop and oven as I make grill cheeses and cinnamon buns. I turn when I hear coughing from the hall. Loki stares into the kitchen as he looks to the kitchen table. He stands in his pants against the threshold, almost falling over. I catch him before he takes a step, moving his arm across my shoulder to balance him. I guide him over to the table as he sits.

"Hey, stay with me. Are you okay?" He shakes his head. "Don't worry, I had the other table burned." I bring a blanket from the couch and throw it over his shoulders. I put the food in front of him as he starts to eat.

"Thank you, Tasya." He quickly finishes the plate of sandwiches and looks up.

"You feel better now?"

"Yes," he says pulling me to his lap.

"Good. There was no way I was going to lose you that easily." I smack the top of his head with some force as it rocks to the side. I pull him close before he can react. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, do you understand? You nearly gave me a fucking heart attack, Loki!"

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," I pull myself away to check on the oven, "and for that little stunt, you get to go shower in the hot water by yourself."

"That sounds fair," he whispers into my ear. I laugh as he disappears into the bathroom, leaving his blanket and clothes in the hall.

Over the next few hours, I get to work putting things in boxes, trashing things in bags and sorting piles into the living room. Loki takes trash out with promise to come back. Most things in the kitchen I throw away as I would only need to bring essential things with me. Loki returns from a load when he watches me in the kitchen on my laptop.

"What are you doing?"

"Music. I love my music and I know there's no outlets on Asgard so I'm taking this with me." I hold up a silver box as I open the top.

"What is it?"

"It's a solar charger. You open it and the wide panels here can charge things with solar energy. You know, from the sun? I won it in a card game." He examines the box closely.

"That is impressive machinery."

"I know. Don't touch." He crouches behind me as he plays with the fabric on my blouse. He sees my tattoo as he examines the full pallet of my shoulder blade.

"What's this?"

"A tattoo."

" _Nothing's gonna change my world._ What meaning does it have?"

"Just as it means. It's from a song by this quartet of men. The Beatles, 1968, Across the universe. It's my favorite song." He brings the fabric back up as he pecks his mark on my neck.

"What else needs to be done?"

"I just finished with my letters and now all that's really left is to go through my personal things and decide what to keep." I press the spacebar on the key board as music fills the kitchen. He swallows two buns whole as I get up to stretch. He wipes the sides of his mouth as he smiles.

"Don't you want to take everything?"

"I would but even though I don't really have a lot, I really only have my overbag. Most of the things I have is just stuff. Clothes and other things I can get on Asgard. I don't have anything really of sentiment."

"Well you also have boxes and you have me."

"That's right, I do. A big, strong mortal man here to help."

"Mmm and don't you forget it," he whispers, swatting my thigh. He pulls me away from the chair and into his arms as he pushes me into the counter. My hips grind into the front of my shorts as I moan into his deep kiss. "I can't wait to put you in the shackles again."

"Ugh, can you not be yourself for five minutes?"

"Impossible."

I lift a box of toys for Sarah as I head for the first floor. David and Hersh were going to be gone for the next few days so I place the box at the front door. I tuck the two envelopes into the toys.

_David and Hersh_

Their letter was simple. More of a thanks for helping me get back on my feet and for letting me look after Sarah while they sorted themselves out with their families. I told them I was grateful to be included in their wedding and christening when they adopted Sarah.

_Sarah:_   
_Open when your older_

Hers was harder to write because I wasn't sure of what to say. I told her about the good and bad things in life and to always fight and survive as someone had once told me. I also added that if she was lucky, she would find happiness just like I did. She would be the one thing I would miss greatly even if she wouldn't remember me. Lena catches me as I start to leave.

"Hey, skank." She had bags of liquor in her arms as she climbed the stairs.

"Hey, Troll, you need help?"

"Nah." She opens the door and drops the bags on the floor.

"Did you want to come get the stuff now and get it over with?"

"Now? Shit, sure." Lena follows as I enter the apartment.

"Loki! Put your pants on."

"Why?" I turn at the last second as Loki stands in the hallway, nude and at attention. I don't have time to react as Lena sees Loki and starts laughing. Loki blushes and quickly disappears into the hall.

"If you haven't noticed, we have a guest. I'm giving her some things and most of them are heavy so put your clothes on. You're gonna help." I look to Lena. "I am so sorry, he's like the Energizer Bunny."

"That's him? Holy shit. I approve, most definitely. You have my unconditional blessing. Wow." She loses it when she finally spots the hickie on my neck. I shake my head, unplugging the tv as Loki comes back fully dressed.

"Hey, sweetie. Take that and we're going to follow her." I grab one half of the speakers and the movie player as Lena grabs the other half of the speakers. We set the stuff in her apartment and leave before Lena takes me by the wrist. She has a look of worry in her eyes.

"There's something you need to know, Tas." Her eyes shoot to Loki as he waits.

"What? You can tell us."

"Earl's out. I just heard earlier today."

"Okay, I don't really care. I'll be gone by the time he crosses state lines."

"But he's got connections..."

"That prison is a whole two states away and he doesn't have shit. I'm not scared of him. Not anymore." I turn back and walk leaving Lena and the conversation behind me. Loki locks the door and picks up the Luna Blade as I move to check my laptop and power it down when my music is done loading.

I brush past him as I move to organize the things in the bedroom.

"What?"

"You're not at all worried?"

"Why should I be? I have you and my blade." I hear the blade as he sets it on the dresser.

"What's this?" I turn and see going through an open drawer. He holds up my baby blanket. It unfolds in his hands and he's almost taken back.

"Be careful with that please, it was my baby blanket. I'm passing it down when I'm ready." He only looks down at his hands, not saying anything. "Anything to say about that?" He shakes his head, sighing and turning away. "Well, she would have been a month old by now."

"What?"

"If what happened hadn't happened, then she would've been about a few weeks old."

"No, woman, the other thing. What makes you sure it would have been a girl?"

"Because of my wonderful genetics."

"Please, your hips are quite endurable and meant for baring boys. My lyons are strong and are exceptional for breeding warriors."

"Oh, okay. I'll be sure to let Lady Sif know about the new additions of young women joining her ranks." He smiles. "How about we just try until we come to a happy median?" He lifts me, spinning me in the air, catching me completely off guard.

"That sounds fair. Just don't complain when you finally fill the gardens with daughters as our sons battle in the muds."

"I like the sound of that." I snap out of the idea of properly starting a family as I shuffle through the clothes I have left. Loki empties my drawers onto the floor to help.

"Tasya? What's this?" In his hand was my sex toy. I had neglected to hide my guilty pleasures from the likes of The God of Mischief as I hide my blush beautifully. He looked like a child that discovered a new piece of candy. Loki seemed to be enjoying that fact that I was in possession of a dildo.

"What does it look like, Loki? You don't have any of those on Asgard?" He studies it as he tosses it on the bed. His eyes widen as he ventures deeper into the drawer. Handcuffs, stockings, and my cutout costume are in a pile on the bed as I ignore him.

"You know, pet. There's not that much left to do. Would you care to have some fun?"

"We're busy." He kisses the side of my neck as I go through my closet.

"Tell me what needs to be done." I had a problem almost giving in to his touch and I didn't want to resist him. Not really. His hand was almost to the closure of my shorts when I cleared my throat.

"Items in the bathroom. Get them and put them on the bed." I finished up the clothes and a file of papers and pictures I had as Loki returned, juggling the small items in his arms. I tossed most of them into the trash as Loki stood puzzled. "I only really need this."

"What is it? Medicine? We have that."

"You have birth control pills on Asgard?"

"Well..."

"It prevents pregnancy. Don't look so scared, all I do is take a pill and we just go to town."

"It seems complex."

"Not really," I protest as I dry swallow one of the pills. "Okay, that's really it. Except for really packing it up, there's nothing else. Envelopes are done, Lena can have the extra crap in the closet and the guys can have the stuff when we leave. You look exhausted."

"I actually feel fine." I reach over and grab the fun stuff to put them away as I close the drawer.

"You sure? You've had quite a journey these past few days. You look like you could use a nap. I could help you ease yourself. Go ahead, lay down." He turns as I hide the costume into my hands. I slip into the bathroom as I change clothes in a flash. I adjust the sides and let my hair down. I knock on the door frame as Loki turns his head to me.

"Oh Gods, woman. You..." He is speechless as I step to the foot of the bed.

The dress I bought a few months ago was something I had only worn once to try on. A black, sheer, skin tight dress that stopped between my mound and knees. Cutouts ran down the side of the dress and the arms. If I was wearing anything underneath, if I was, you could tell. Loki laid flat on his back as I rounded the side of the bed to him.

His soft demeanor quickly disappeared and a wicked grin crossed his face. He licked his lips as he sat up near the edge.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you, Sir?"

Sir? Where the hell did that come from? He rubbed my thigh on circles as he looked into my eyes.

"Kneel, wench." I obey, feeling a small rush in my chest and a coursing heat between my legs. His pants weren't tight but I could see his cock straining to get out. "Over my knees."

I flatten myself over his legs as his hands run over my skin. My back aches as he moans from the sight of me.

"You must have some idea what I'd like to do while I have you like this, my dear."

"Perhaps you'd like to show me, Sir?" I whisper, arching my back to lift myself up for him. He pats my cheek, rubbing the curve with his fingers.

"I would enjoy doing so but first you need some adjustment." His hand holds my shoulders down, lifts the hem up around my ass and gives me a light smack. "You may grab at whatever you'd like but should you make a sound without my permission, then I will start again and strike firmer."

"Yes, sir."

"Good, pet." His hand comes down twice, one on each cheek. "That was for making me wait for my meal yesterday, woman." Two more smacks as I arch, pressing myself into him. "That was for my head. How many is that so far, pet?"

I try to catch my breath, not realizing that my heart was racing.

"Four. Four smacks, sir."

"Excellent. Count out the rest for teasing me yesterday morning."

Smack, smack, smack! Each a bit forceful than the last.

"Five! Six! Seven!"

My core aches, wanting him to take me. My breaths shakes as I clench the sheets. He massages my cheeks, making me wet as he slides two fingers into my core. I bite on my lips trying to stay silent.

"Such a good girl, you are forgiven, you can speak now."

"Loki," I gasp as his fingers find my spot with ease, "Please, I need you."

"Do I have permission to take you, my dear?"

"Yes, take me."

He pulls me to my back as he undresses and kneels between my open legs as the dress rides up to my breasts.

"May I taste you?"

"You can take what you'd like." His runs the flat of his tongue up my slit. I arch up as he finishes the lick with a sharp flick over my clit.

"I love the way you react to my touches, minx." He lazily licked away as his nose rested at my clit. He moaned into me, sending shivers through my body. My hips buck to his face as his tongue slipped inside, slowly torturing me. My hands grab onto my breasts, rubbing through the dress as I moan. He continued flicking his tongue wildly across my clit as I began to tense. He stood, resting himself at my entrance. He rubbed his cock up and down my slit as he moaned.

"I don't want it make this too easy for you, pet." He flattened his cock to his stomach and thrusted up like he would fuck me. The sensation of him grinding into me was pushing me closer to my release.

"Don't fucking call me pet."

His hand reached up and yanked my hair back to look him in the eye. His face fell at my ear as he bit softly on my ear lobe.

"What would you have me call you then? Minx, wench, harlot," he purrs all while rolling my lobe between his teeth. "I think when I have you like this, you'll be my beautiful whore. Would you like that, whore?"

"Yes, Loki... God, that feels good."

"My whore, always drenched for me." Loki kneels down and thrusts his fingers into me as my back arches from the bed. He drinks from me as I come, crying out from my release. He slowly crawls on the bed as I come down. I grin as my hands glow white.

"My turn," I say pushing his back to the mattress. I use my magic to hold his hand above his head and his feet to the floor. He tries to pull but fails.

"Don't look at me like that, your highness. This time, I'm more prepared. How close are you?"

I place a single passionate kiss on his lips and move down. I flick my tongue on the skin of his nipple as I take it into my mouth. I bring the other to my lips and give it the same attention.

"Closer than you think." I peel the dress off as he bites down on his lip from the sight of my naked body. I kneel between his legs as his shaft rubs up between my breasts. I lick my lips as he watches my lips wrap around his cock, sucking hungrily. His head falls back as he tries to lift his hips.

"Please, Tasya. I'm..."

I work my lips faster, tasting his precum at the back of my throat. I relax my mouth as he empties into my throat, gasping and panting as his muscle tense from the orgasm. I let him go, from my mouth and my magic as I move for the covers. I moves beside me, resting his head on my arm.

"Thank you, young woman, for your services."

"Anything for you, my Prince."


	8. Champagne Supernova

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A/N: I've been woking on _Deora Ar Mo Chroi_ for more than two years since before I knew Tumblr existed. This and the next chapter have to be the most nerve wrecking to write.
> 
> There is the most absolute trigger warning for violence in this chapter so please try not to think less of me.

The dark of the room gave me a great sense of serenity. I felt the chill of the windows as Loki's sleeping body was hot against mine. A sigh of content passes my lips as I hear it. I hummed with the words, quiet enough not to wake him.

"So beautiful," he whispers into the darkness. So much for that. "Sing for me, please?"

"I don't like the way I sound." His fingernail trace up my arm as I keep humming.

"Compared to how I make you scream?" He rested his head on my breast as my fingers ran through his hair.

_"Slowly walking down the hall  
_faster than a cannonball  
_Where were you while we were getting high?"___

My phone buzzes in the window sill. I turn as it falls into my hand before it drops to the floor. I flip it open. Loki stirs fully from his sleep as his hand rubs my side. "Keep going, Tasya..."

"Hello?" I answer lazily as I ignore him.

"Bitch! Where are you?! It's almost 10!" It had to be Lena. Music bleed through the phone as I put it on speaker. The bass matched the music from the floor below us.

"Yeah, its two hours. We were gonna be there soon." Loki's hand turns me to my side, he arches around me as his tongue grazes my nipple, hpnotized in nothing but me. "Stop," I whisper. He ignores me, pulling my nipple to his lips. He tries to wedge himself underneath me as I arch. I pull him close as he moans into my skin.

"God! Are you fucking each other again?! I'm about to come up there and storm the trenches for you two! You said you were gonna show and there's no way you're gonna be plastered by midnight. This is suppose to be your last night here." Loki moves his lips to my neck as his fingers slowly circle my clit. I reach between us and grab his cock tightly as he moans into my skin. "Tas?! Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm... fuck..."

I hold the phone away so she doesn't hear my moans. Loki drags his tongue down my back. I drop the phone out of my reach as Loki pulls me close and moves his fingers faster over the hood of my bud. The senuality of the music on the other end of the phone filled my ears with guitar rifts past Loki's panting breath. My ass grinded into him with the palm of my hand as I started to twitch next to him.

"Let me keep you like this forever, my love."

"Yes..."

"Gods, I'm close," he hisses into my hair. I raise the pad of my foot to the mattress as he circles deeper. My head falls back as I whimper. I pull away from him as I straddle him, my wetness coating his hardness as he pulls me closer to devour me. I think but on all the times I reserved and bitter towards him. He drags me lower to him with his teeth to my bottom lip.

"Still think I'm holding back on you, your highness."

His nails raked on the edge of my ass, holding me in place.

The lights flicked on as Lena appeared in the doorway, screaming at the sight of us. In a second, I had seen that the blanket was pushed to our feet.

"Lena, get the fuck out! I said we were coming!"

"God, Tas, that was so hot."

"Go back down stairs, pervert!"

"Nope, I'm waiting here until you get dressed."

Her laughter echoes the living room. I sit up, coming down from my blissful high as Loki sighs. My back hits the mattress. I groan through my fingertips as I turn my head to him.

"Come on, before she comes back. I know you can't wait to fuck my brains out but I'm not interested in a threesome."

"Really?"

Nola's face came to my mind as my blush showed.

"At least not right now."

He stands leaning against the wall as he strokes himself once out of frustration. He grabs my arm, pulling me under him from the mattress.

"How much longer must we have to endure this? I feel like I'm about to burst."

"Just until after midnight and then I'm all yours, any way you want. I promise. Get dressed and pick out something for me to wear. I'll be back."

I step into the bathroom and splash water on my face. A smile showed in my reflection as I fixed my hair into a loose bun. I'm surprised when I find Loki fully clothed and waiting for me. I look to the bed and see what he's spread out for me. From the pile of clothes, he chose my black bikini top, pair of blue summer shorts and my favorite white blouse. This would have been good for a summer cookout and not New Years Eve party.

"What, no panties?"

"Not in my presence, ever again."

I let him tie on the top and I make sure he sees all of me when I bend over to step into my shorts. I walk out finally dressed when Loki stops me. He presses a kiss to my lips as I reach to pick up my phone. Things were finally as they should have been. I was happy and I was safe in his arms but soon enough things would get worse as they always did, I only prayed I'd make it to Asgard before it happened.

"Here, you get to hold this. If it goes off, just let me know." The phine tucks easily into his jeans. His hands push the fabric down my shoulders until the stretched fabric rests above the top of my breasts. He enjoyed the way the fabric moved against my skin. His finger traces my tattoo.

"Tas!" Lena bangs on the open front door. "I'm not getting any younger."

"You were wearing it wrong. Shall we?" I grab him through his pants as he braces himself, grinding deeper into my hand. "Keep at it, woman. I won't hesitate to take you over my knee again."

I pull him out of the apartment with the keys tucked in my shorts and my Luna blade hidden in my boot.

About 10 more hours and I would finally be his.

~

"So, in a sense, this Midgarian holiday is about starting over? It does seem fit for you."

Loki returned to me with two glasses. I finish half of it when I realize he gave us wine. Almost every door in the complex was open and filled with parties. Lena took into account of who might be asleep but I was surprised when the elderly couple invited people into their home and stayed up for the joined festivities.

Lena's place filled so quickly as I took in my last night. The drunken happy faces reminded me of how Loki's people celebrated, with not a sad face except my own would ever be in sight. Tonight was to be a wonderful exception.

"Is this the best you can do or is Thor the heavier drinker?"

He chuckles in embaressment as I take his own drink and finish it.

"You should see Thor challenge the town folk after a victorious battle. You seem unaffected by your own Midgardian ales."

"I've almost lived a life before I met you. Come on." I pull him to the bar surrounded by other patrons. He follows me under the table to the other side, giving my ass a sharp smack as he gets to his feet. I grab a random bottle of something strong and pour two shots. I hold one up to him. "Here!" He takes it as I clink his shot and down mine. I find a lime wedge and suck the juice. "Now you do the same."

He downs his faster and coughs away, frowning at the taste.

"Like that?" he shouts over the music. I point to the wedge I purposely placed between my fingers. His lips take the lime from me as I blush. The zest falls from his lips as he slams his glass down with might, breaking it. "Another!"

The guests lift their cups cheering him on with him. He samples more liquor with me until his eyes begin to glaze over. I pull him to the nearest wall as he embraces me, like I'd float away if he let me go. His lips kiss the soft spot below my ear, clearing his throat.

"You know I love you, woman. I know you love me too but you-you don't have to say it if you don't want to. I'm sorry about pressing you that night, you didn't deserve that. You... deserve better, more than Yggdrasil has to offer..." I smile to myself knowing he understood that I wasn't ready to say it but believe me, I was close. I should get him drunk more often.

"Dance with me, your highness."

"Warriors don't dance," he says, stumbling to a stop at the edge of the living room.

"Now, now. A prince, however," I hiss into his ear as I place his hands on my lower back, "must know how to move around a female's body."

He tries to argue but he proceeds to let me guide him. I wish he would have moved more gracefully but the alcohol was starting to wear him down. THere would be more time for dancing later.

"Do you need to sit?"

"No, no. I'm fine." I pull him to an empty spot on the couch and I sit with my legs spread across his lap. "So if you don't mind my asking, what happened to you dancing for a profession?"

"It was starting to be all too much. So I had to chose between that or my kids."

"You chose very wisely," he grinned, grabbing my ass with enthusiasm as he laughed into my neck. Lena pushed her way to the couch and passed Coronas around. She lifted her own and swayed.

"Here is to a new year of better choices, which I'm sure I'll make a few bad ones within the first half hour." We all cheered. "To the New Year!"

"The New Year!" A sea of drunk, hopeful people washed against the walls.

"And here's to Tasya. Hun, you're a total bitch and I'm just gonna miss you to death." She points her bottle to Loki, spilling some of her drink in the process. "You, fucker. First, all I'll say is wow. Second, you have yourself a great ass girl here. You better take care of her or so help me, I will hunt you down like a lesbo at a taco stand and make you look like an accident."

"You have my word, Miss Lena. I already promised her a garden full of daughters."

"Awesome, fuck. To the daughters!"

"Daughters!" Lena grabs my hand and pulls me away from Loki.

"Stay here," I grin to Loki as he holds both of our bottles.

Lena pulls me the bathroom and locks the door.

"Seriously, if he fucking hurts you, I'm just saying, I've watched a lot of Investigation Discovery."

"I know, man." I reach into my shorts and pull out a crumpled envelope. "This is for everything you've done for me." She peers into the seal, unsure of what she's seeing.

"Tas, I..."

"1500 dollars. Enough for you to get out of here."

"You'll need this."

"Not where I'm going, hun." A worried covers her glazed eyes. "Stop it, I'm not yanking myself."

"So how do you feel?"

"I feel everything good." I pat my loose hair back. "Happy, terrified, lucky."

"You love him, don't you?"

"So lucky, I lo..." An image passed my mind. I was younger, alone and crying. I remember a picture. The stranger that was a magician, that fixed my picture.

____Thank you, Lucky. I love you._ _ _ _

His face was clear now. His eyes were so sad and beautiful as he faded away. And green.

Son of a bitch.

"Tas?"

"That smug little fucker! I'm gonna kick his ass!!" I leave Lena in the bathroom as I find Loki finishing his bottle. I hop on his lap in front of everyone and devour his lips, tasting everything. Whoops circle around the room as I pull myself away and toss him a wink. "I remember, you dick, I remember. Stay right there."

I stumble my way to the apartment. _ _ __Where did I leave it?____ I kicked my boots off at the door and pushed my way back into the apartment. People were heard through the hall as I slam it against the wall. I fall tipsy into the bedroom looking for the folder.

 

-What was that about? She had just pounced ontop my lap and claimed my lips like an animal in heat. I raised slowly as I took a deep breath. I placed the bottles on a flat surface and sat on the carpetted hallway floor and waited for her. My hip jolted like I was struck with electricity. I pulled Tasya's device out and opened it. The screen flashed _ _ __"UNKNOWN CALLER"____ and I pressed the button she had pressed earlier.

"Hello?" There was silence past the music. "Is there anyone there?"

"I hope you enjoyed your time with her, prick."

"I beg your pardon."

The device went dark as I looked around for Tasya. Something was amiss.-

 

 ____Where was it?_ ___ Duh, I had it on my vanity under the trashbag. I push everything away and flip through the pictures until I find it. Still looking new was the picture of my parents. I had made a promise to Loki to keep it safe. He would enjoy this a lot. It tucks safely into my shorts with the necklace.

I walk back to the living room, seeing the frame of someone sitting on the couch. They scare me for a second until goosebumps stab my flesh and the air in the room disappears all together.

"Hello, Tasya."

No.

I obviously had passed out in Loki's arms and was having a nightmare. There was no way he would be here now, emotionless and home.

"Earl?"

I bolt for the door. He arm grabs me and throws me to the floor. There was no way for me to reach my blade out in the hallway. I crawl backwards thinking of what I could use. The light flips on, showing there was nothing in the bare living room and the bedroom was too far. I was certain I was going to die as I slip on the floor. Under my hand is a smear of blood. Earl had scratched my arm to the point of breaking skin.

"You looking for this?" He holds up the blade triumphantly. He reaches down and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling me from the floor. I only see the side of his split ear as he drags me to the kitchen. The music was so loud that no one would be able to hear me. "Can't we just talk?"

"Fuck you, asshole." I drive my knee into his stomach and reach for a frying pan. He grips the back of my shirt and yanks me to the floor. My hand glows, trying to remember a spell, any spell to protect myself but I come up empty. He grabs the pan and swings as I shield my face the best that I can. I am able to block out the pain of the first few blows but as he strikes my hip, I cry out in pure pain. My sides of my legs, the back of my shoulder and the rest of my body is shown no mercy as the pain ricochets to the weak barrier of my skin. I'm sure I heard something crack.

The pan hits the floor next to my head as I try to move away from Earl. I move as fast as I can on my uninjured arm for only a few inches. He kneels over me or at least I think he does as he brings his fist down across my face. I taste the copper of my lips. Another blow and the taste magnifies as blood goes down the back of my throat. My eyes close as I fight to stay conscious. Earl stops swinging as he lifts me into his arms, almost lovingly.

"You'll always be mine, Tasya. He can't have you."

I spit the collecting blood into his face. He drops me onto the table on my bruised side. He had grabbed the blade and cut down the side of my leg, gashing my skin and ripping the shorts open enough to slide them down. I clutched at what I could, finding only the picture and the necklace. I muster with whatever strength I have left and focus on him.

____"Loki."_ _ _ _


	9. Cough syrup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cough syrup by Young the Giant

"Five minutes to Midnight!"

I stand, ready to go looking for Tasya. I wait in the door way and see Lena run towards me.

"Lena, do..."

"He's here! I don't know how though."

"Who?"

"Earl. Someone said they saw him but everyone's drunk right now. Where's Tasya?"

The voice rang loud in my ears past my blurred senses. 

I hope you enjoyed your time with her, prick.

A flash of light flooded my head as I push my way through the wheat field of mortals. 

No. 

Gods, no. 

Her boots were by the door. I checked them, seeing no blade. The world stopped as the ceiling light illuminated the drops of blood on the floor. Shifting of metal in the kitchen moved me forward. My heart sank as I heard her gasping for breath. Horror had stretched in my mind as the trail lead into the kitchen, leaving a small pool blood in its wake. 

Then there she was. Her clothes were torn and slashed. Blood and bruises covered her flawless skin. His hand was around her throat as she struggled to breathe. Her hair covered the table top as blood trickled from her head. He had her pinned as he ravaged her within a breath of life left in her body. 

My own took over as I knocked him off his feet from her. I shifted her in my arms, fixing whatever clothes I could. He had already fixed himself in his pants as he lunged towards us. I lifted my boot and sent him crashing into the wall. I didn't stay for impact as I ferried Tasya away to somewhere I knew she'd be safe from the continuing horrors of this world. I knew she was hanging on for as long as she could. 

_Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six!_

I made quickly for the roof.

"Heimdall!"

_Five! Four!_

"Please, please stay with me, Tasya!"

"Fucking prick!"

_Three! Two!_

The ground surged with energy as he leaped to knock us to the ground. The Bifrost opened as I prayed to the Gods he would reach me before the light hit the ground.

_One!_

His hand wrapped around Tasya's arm as the Bifrost carried the three of us to recesses of Asgard. If I dared looked down, I would have kicked at him until he fell to sufficate in the vaccum of space. Another few, seconds and I would be home. 

The smell of the sea filled my nose as my feet touched solid ground. I broke the contact from the man's hold on Tasya as Heimdall stepped forward and subdued the man. With the butt of his sword, Heimdall had knocked the man out of consciousness.

"He stays alive, for now. Send him to the dungeons." I mount a waiting horse with Tasya in my arms as I ride posthaste towards the rising sun of the palace. The drinks were having an affect on me as I tried to keep myself steady. I don't stop at the gate as I continue riding through the gardens on the shortest route to the healing room. I stumble from my horse as I stride with her down halls. With my strength gone, my mortal self could only do so much.

Hogun runs to our aid as he takes Tasya and we run for the healing room. Frigga waits with Thor outside the doors as I stay by Tasya's side. Hogun places her lightly on the table as the shreads of clothes fell around her beaten skin. For a moment, turns her head to me.

"Loki" is all I can make out as she puts something in my hand. Hogun and Thor guide me away as the flood of healers start the Soul Forge. The doors close with a thunder of silence that followed. I hadn't heard her scream out for help. The only thing that could come to my mind was _Why?_ Hogun's voice rang in my ears. 

"What happened, Loki?" Blood was covered on silver robes. More was on my own clothes and arms without knowing it.

"Her lover found her again." 

It was all I could tell them. His face was all I saw, everywhere. Rage filled me as I threw punches into the wall. I wanted to keep going, to wipe the gloating smirk from his face but pain coursed my veins. Blood ran from my knuckles. I screamed, ready to strike the wall again until Thor pulled me away, embracing me from the door.

"Brother," he muttered. "I was in your place not so long ago as you were in there. They refused to let me stay by your side. You know, as well as I, that Tasya is a fighter and everything will be well. You also know that the finest Healers in the Nine Realms are in there, caring for her now as they did for you."

"She'll be safe now." Frigga's voice soothes me but only for a moment. "Why is your hand not healing?"

I look down and see blood drip from my hand. Tears fell on the polished floor next to them. I wipe them away, replacing them with small smears of blood.

"She promised to return on the condition that I live as a mortal for a day." 

I open my hand, remember Tasya had given me something before I was taken to the hall. Her necklace laid clean in my palm as the gem shined blue. There was a piece of paper that was covered in spots of blood. I opened it as I heard her voice again.

I remember.

It was the picture of her parents. She had kept it safe for me this whole time. My heart would break if I looked at the door again. My eyes stay on the necklace. She had kept her word when I told her to keep them both safe. 

I should have told her no. Be mortal. And I had left her alone knowing something bad was bound to happen. My mind feels like it wanted to slip into madness but I couldn't do that to Tasya. My gaze remains to the gem even as it turns back to purple. 

The flesh on my knuckles heal and I phase back into my underarmor as I wait. Everyone had come and gone with the exception of Odin. All giving their prayers, wishes of speedy recovery and words of comfort. All a buzzing bee at my ear, nothing would be clear until I saw her alive and well again. If I had to sit here for days and weeks on end, then so be it. I rest my head on the wall as I close my eyes for a brief second. 

There she was at the edge of the balcony. The railing to the watchtower that overlooked all of Asgard was familiar as the open window curtains flowed in the wind behind her. I knew it was her by the shape of her body, her curves, the way she swayed in the wind. I had almost waited for her to start singing. 

Her hair was black as death. Fresh and fading nail marks covered her arms and back. The wind picked up her hair showing that the words that were written in ink were gone. I recognized her clothes. Her costume had been altered and torn, almost seductively. Once white was now close to the color of fresh blood. She turned to me, seeing me there. There was relief and heartbreak in her eyes. She wiped away a few tears as she backed away from me, towards the edge.

I looked down at my feet, seeing her necklace. The dark gem was bright as I touched it and the chains turned black, searing into my flesh. I looked up again, ignoring the pain in my hand. Her dress was clearer now as I saw every curve, every mole. So desirable, I wanted to pull her away to the floor and claim her as mine again. Tasya wipes away her tears as she holds her stomach. I stepped forward and saw the change in her eyes. Darkness filled her eyes like the edge of space. I was certain there were stars in her eyes. She was so close to me and to the edge.

"What are you doing?"

She reaches up as my hand rests on her stomach. I feel the faintest bit of movement on her stomach as she falls backwards. I don't reach out to her in her last seconds. She disappears, smiling, from my sight. Her voice is heard in the wind.

Goodbye.

"Loki!" Frigga shakes me awake as I draw in a short breath. "Loki, you can go in. Would you like me to go with you?" Thor clears his throat.

"Brother, the man is in the dungeons, was that him?"

I shake my head, not answering either of them. Frigga follows behind me as Thor stays at the enterance. She laid silent and asleep on the examination table as Eir steps forward. She tries her best to keep a clear face. 

"My apologies, your highnesses, for the time. Some of the others had not seen tramua as she had endured and did what they could. She is so strong for a mortal."

I step to Tasya's side as I chain the necklace around her neck. She had been bare under the medical sheet that was spread on top her. Her face was clean aside from her cuts and bruises. 

"So she will heal?"

Eir took a deep breath and look to the floor. 

"Her body is failing. We don't have the power to fully heal her internally. Her adrenaline in her body is going away and now she feels the pain from her attack. She is holding but she may not survive the night." 

I look back to remember her features when her eyes open under her swollen face. 

"Tasya!"

She was unresponsive. In a fluid moment, her gaze shifts to my belt as she grabs my dagger and kicks me away with great force. She flips from the table, scaring Eir and Frigga. Thor takes a step forward in front of Frigga. A guard enters the room, ready with weapon. 

"No, stop!" I cry in the chaos and clamour. I bring my hand up to stop everyone as I dive to Tasya. She backs into the wall, ferally swinging the dagger to protect herself. I grab her hand and press her face to mine as I try to calm her. Her blank eyes were filled with fear and were unfocused.

"Tasya! It's me! You need to calm yourself." She stuggles to push me away, no longer trying to keep herself covered. I let go of her hand and she thrusts the blade into my leg as I cry out. I hear footsteps behind me.

"No! Thor, you have to keep everyone back!" I kiss Tasya on the lips as she stops flailing. I break the kiss as she gasps for breath. She clings to my arms as I look into her blank eyes. "Come back to me, Tasya. Come back to me."

I back my face away, seeing her regain composure. The dagger pulls easily from my leg as her eyes dart around. I drag the medical sheet up to cover her flesh from everyone.

"Loki?"

"Yes, Love, yes." She reached forward and threw her arms around my neck as her body shook. "We're home. You're safe, I promise."

She kept breathing steadily as she rocked in my arms. With every breath, sobs fell from her throat until she screamed from the pain and shame of what happened. She clung to me as if I would disappear when she let go. Frigga ushered out Thor and the guard as Tasya cried. 

"Shh, I'm here now." She tries to move but is stuck to the ground from her pain. I look back only seeing Eir and Frigga. "So there is nothing that can be done?" My voice shakes as I hold Tasya's limp hand.

"There is nothing that we can do." She looks to Frigga then to me. Frigga nods and Eir leaves. Frigga slowly approaches as she kneels to Tasya.

"Hello again, Tasya."

"I didn't keep the door closed. It didn't keep him out." Her eyes stay on my armor.

"We need to get you back on the table, child. We are going to heal you, but it will hurt." Tasya shakes her head in agreement as Frigga gentlely kisses the top of her hand. "To do this, I need your consent. When we start, your bones and muscle will heal only leaving pain of shock. This will take a great amount of magic, so if I were to stop, I won't be able to finish. Do you understand?" She looks to Frigga, then to me.

"Yes, you have my consent."

I lift her to the table as Hogun arrives with a vial. He sees Tasya for a moment then averts his eyes from her naked figure. Frigga orders the guards to keep everyone away from the corridor by any means nessecary. She locks the doors and stands at the side of the table. She takes Tasya's hand and hands her the vial.

"Take all of this. It will help take some of the pain away." She swallows all the liquid. "Try to focus on Loki, dear."

Frigga turns to gather various things. I kneel in front of her as she looks at me with dreamy eyes. The elixir was taking effect.

"I'm scared. I don't want to die yet. Everything hurts."

"You're in the best hands."

"I wanted to give you your sons so I could have my daughters." 

"You will, my love. We'll try as soon as you wish and it doesn't have to be a boy first. Just focus on me and all the good from the past two days."

A dull tear falls from her bruised cheek.

"Besides you almost freezing to death."

"Yes and that. Just hold onto me okay. Don't be afraid to hurt me, I'm stronger now than I look."

She shakes as I pull the sheet down from her so Frigga can see. After a moment, she takes a breath and closes her eyes as she braces my shoulders. 

"You have one cracked rib and another that is broken completely. Those will hurt the most. The cuts won't be so bad. Your hip took a lot of damage. Everything else will hurt in the slightest. Just remember to breathe." Tasya shakes her head. I see Frigga's radiate with magic as she leans forward. "Keep her steady the best you can and try not to interfere."

Her hands touch Tasya and she already jumps from the magic as her flesh moved. She kept her mouth closed as she leaned into my shoulder. Frigga frowned as she tried to heal her faster. I looked down as I saw her rib move back into place. It healed back with a snap. She muffled her screams the best she could as tears rolled down her face.

"Stop holding it in, Tasya. You need to let it out."

Her mouth dropped open as her second rib cracked. Her heaving scream echoed the walls as she held on tight. Her breathing started to shake wildly as a sick look crossed her face.

"Loki," said Frigga still focused, "The basin." My hands found the basin as Tasya wretched her drinks into the silver bowl. "She's in too much pain, Loki. I thought the elixir would help."

"No!" sobbed Tasya, "Keep going."

I place her hands on the back of my neck as I lean her for Frigga to heal her hip. Her breath shakes as Tasya grabs the back of my neck. Her screams worsen as voices raise on the outside of the door.

"We are almost done, Tasya. You was doing so well. Loki, I need you hand for this one." I place my glowing hand on her hip as Frigga covers mine. She rocks in pain as the fractured bone in her hip moves under her flesh. Her nails dig into my scalp as her cries ring in my ear. The bruises vanished as Tasya started to fall over in my arms.

"No, no. Tasya you need fight, stay awake!" She had stopped screaming and was losing strength.

"That's all Loki." Frigga steps back, taking a deep breath, wiping the sweat from her brow. "She'll have some soreness and the smaller things on her I'm sure you can manage to heal. Shall we get her to your chambers?"

Tasya's voice was hoarse from screaming. She was only able to swallow water as she tried to stand. She was already exposed to Asgard, being cared for, her legs tried to move only to bend like a blade of grass. 

"I can't..."

I wrapped the medicial sheet around every possible inch of her skin and lifted her in my arms as I carried her to my chambers. I held her close so no one would be able to see her face. Frigga trailed our steps as I placed her on my sheets. She had ordered a male servant to stay close should we needed anything. Her eyes roamed Tasya's limp form.

"She is in your arms again, my son. It would seem fate laid many obstacles for the both of you. Tend to her gently as your woman, Loki. Be sure to give her the time she needs. She seems something more of a miracle."

"Thank you, Mother." She embraced me only as quickly as she pulled and closed the doors behind her.

"Loki." Tasya called out, only for her voice to fail. She pushed off the sheet as I tried to get her covered. Her naked body was clear again. I sat on the bed next to her.

"What is it you need?"

"Loki." She sits up, slowly reaching over as she took hold of my hand, leading me to lay next to her. The hardness I held for her earlier was now gone and I wasn't sure of what to do. When she finished healing, I would claim her in everyway so that she would forget his face and scream my name, remembering that she was mine rather than be reminded of the horrors she had to endure.

I held her close as I listened to the sounds of her labored breath mix with the breeze from the open window. I felt her tears as they fell down my arm. Long after she fell asleep, I made sure she was there, not to run, not to disappear through a portal, not to disappear at all. 

She was finally where she belonged.

\- 

She stayed asleep on her side as I was summounded to the throne room the next morning. Odin surely heard of what happened on Midgard and on the Rainbow Bridge. My door had almost closed when a second servant appeared requesting Tasya to join as well. I locked the doors and looked to her as she woke. 

"What's wrong?"

"Odin needs to speak with us." She looks down at her naked body then back to me.

"I don't have anything to wear." 

I find it hard not to smile as I make my way for the chest at the end of my bed. I fling it open and rummage through her things. I pull up a dress with a chest plate but stop, thinking it was something she wouldn't want. I pull trousers and a torso robe for her. She dresses herself and buckles her boots. Tasya tries to reach up for her hair but the pain stops her, I braid her hair into a strong but soft braid the fall over her shoulder. She takes my arm, steadying herself.

"Let's go."

She winced as she walked with a hand hooked to my arm for support. If anything, her soreness would last a day or two. Her breath shook as we approached Odin. He was at the bottom of the staircase of the throne.

"Welcome back, Loki."

"Father, I..."

Odin held up his hand to silence me. He took a step forward to Tasya, taking the back of her hand and kissed it.

"Welcome back to Asgard."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"It would seem that things have happened that we do not understand but that is indeed the purpose of life."

A grunt from the side of the throne room catches our attention. The man is shackled and bound, in the grip of two guards. He is pulled forward and pushed to his knees. Tasya remains unchanged as her eyes meet her previous lover's. His face was bruised from Heimdall's sword. The fury in his eyes does nothing to Tasya.

"Since he doesn't belong on Asgard, he is not under my rule and I would not know what punishment to issue for his crimes." He looks to Tasya. "Therefore, it is up to you what to do, my dear."

She is silent, deep in thought as she clears her throat.

"May I go back to collect my things? I don't have a lot but I'd like to collect what I do have. I may need Loki's help."

"You may."

"When I return, I want to send him back to whatever crevice he crawled out of. I want to see him off with a bag, a small one, of supplies for a day or two."

"This should prove most interesting. You may go now, if you wish. He isn't going to be going anywhere."

"Thank you, All-father."

She bows as she turns, without giving her lover a glance. A horse waits for us as I climb the saddle. I pull Tasya up to sit in front of me. My arms wrap around her as the horse starts into a gallop on the bridge. Her head turns as she is taken in awe by the landscape. It was refreshing to see a look of pure serenity across her face despite of the inner demons that were bent of destroying her. I wished the bridge was longer so I could stretch the moment longer.

The horse stops in front of the Bifrost. Her attention fixes on the structure of the Bifrost. Heimdall steps forward, towering Tasya.

"Hello, little shadow."

"Hello?"

"This is Heimdall. He is the Gatekeeper to our realm, he can see every living soul in Yggdrasil."

She is confused as she nods in agreement. 

"Time has been kind to you, young Tasya. I have watched you for some time now."

"That's horrifying." He smirks as she tries to apologize. "I'm so sorry, I didn't..."

"There is no one on your floor," he says as he turns for the platform, "Guards have left for a while now. You may take any time you need. The man will be here when you return."

He lifts his hand to guild us as the Bifrost activates. Tasya's head looks in every direction as she holds on to my arm. 

"Try to stay as still as you can." She shakes in anticipation as she buries herself in my chest. Heimdall opens the Bifrost as we travel through the realms. I hankered for her to open her eyes and see the beauty of Yggdrasil. Before I could say something else, we landed on Midgard in a puddle of melted snow the Bifrost had melted. Tasya draws in a breath as she makes for the door leading inside. There was no telling what may have awaited her.

Yellow warning ribbons crossed her door as she stared. She yanked the ribbons away from the wood as she paced inside. I noticed her eyes were closed as she guided herself into her bedchambers. She looks around and picked up her overbag from the floor.

"What's the matter?"

"One bag."

"May I?" I take the bag from her as I empty the contents on her bed. She watches as my magic glows around the bag. "Tsosh Larra." 

The inside of the bag lights up as my magic subsides.

"What happened?" 

"It's been improved. Watch." I push my arm all the way into the bag with touching the edge. Her eyes widen to what I've done. I pull the bag around my shoulder and hear her gasp in surprise as I wiggle out of the bag. "Though I wouldn't recommend doing that. I've always wanted to use that spell."

"It's a Tardis."

"What?" She shakes her head as I hand her the bag. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"I..." She turns so she doesn't face the door. "Some of my things are in the kitchen and..."

"Consider it done. Take your time."

I walk down the hall to the kitchen as I see the dried blood on the floor. The place had been untouched from the night before. On the floor, in a small closet was her things that fell to the floor. Her silver box and the rest of her devices are hidden by discarded bags. I grab only the things important to her. The blade rests on the table as I study the designs. 

Tasya is busy as I return. I look as I see her frantically toss things into the bag without looking. I step away from the door at the last minute as she turns. I hear her voice as she tries to hide her sobs. 

"Get it together," she whispers, wiping her tears away. I enter with her things as she tests the weight of her bag. Her bedchamber is empty and all drawers are bare. She gives a false smile as I place the objects into the bag. "That's it. Let's go."

She grabs my hand and leads the way out of her chambers and to the roof. 

"Here," I say as we reach the roof. "Hold the bag in your arms like this." I place the bag in her arm as I lift her other the hovers over it, cradling it in the air. Her hands glow. "Now all you do is move your arms like this." I move my arms slowly in the shape of a whirlwind. She moves hers faster as the bag disappears. She laughs silently as she looks to the ground. 

"How do I get it back?"

"You clear your mind and think of the bag and it will come to you." She repeats the motion and catches the bag in midair. 

"Impressive."

"It took me two years to perfect that."

She lets it vanish as she nods her head, ready to leave her previous life behind her. The Bifrost lifts us to the sky. Her hair flies wildly behind her as she turns. Her eyes stay to the beauitful emptyness of space. A smile appears as she see me looking to her, taking in the sight of Yggdrasil. She grabs my hand tighter as I leave a small kiss on her temple.

Tasya slowly steps onto the Bifrost as she lets go of my arm. Guards wait with her lover as they hand her the bag of supplies. He is unrestrained and shoved to the front. Tasya looks up to Heimdall.

"You see everyone in the universe?"

"Yes, my Lady."

"Send him back to whereever he came from, pick anywhere. Just don't tell me."

The Bifrost starts as her lover gets to his feet. She removes the bond across his mouth and he spits into her face. We all step forward but she holds her hand up as she wipes her face clean.

"That was your only chance for an apology. Good luck surviving on your own." She thrusted her foot into his chest as he fell into the rift of the Bifrost. She was conflicted to let go of the bag but she eventually tossed the bag. Heimdall waits, finally closing the Bifrost, sealing to whereever he had sent the man. I dismiss the Guards and only the three of us stand silent, watching the Asgardian morning sky. She sighed as she stepped backward. "The wicked shall recieve their just deserved rewards."

She turns as blood falls from her nose. She feels the liquid as she walks onto the Bifrost, hurrying away from me.

"Tasya?"

"Loki! She is about to fall," roars Heimdall as he turns to us.

I sprint quickly to her as she faints. Her body would have rolled straight into the sea below. I lift her again as I mount the two of us and start for the palace. She awakens as I set her on my bed. Her hair falls over her shoulder as she tries to wipe the drying blood away.

"Now what?"

"You rest for now. You eat, wash up, and sleep. You body has been through a lot."

"May I have my old room back?" It hurt that she didn't want to stay with me but she deserved her chambers back.

"Of course, I can have your things put back as you rest. Do wish for me to leave?" She shakes her head. "Should you need me, I won't be too far off." I grab her chest of belongings and leave her to her thoughts. Servants fix her room as they did before with my help. 

Tasya appears at dusk wearing my robe. She is clean and seems content as she pulls the lapels closer. The servants are dismissed by her as she disrobes herself, giving me the robe as she hides behind her door. She stays there as she closes them. I feel her presence behind the wood.

"Thank you, Loki."

"Anything for you. Do you want me to stay?"

"Not right now. I want to be alone."

"If that is what you wish. Good night."

"Loki? Will you come back later?"

"Whenever you want, Tasya."

"When I'm sleeping. Good night, Loki."

I sit on the other side of her door and wait for hours. Her light turns out and I wait longer until I hear her breathing steady. I enter her chambers and strip to lay next to her. She only stirs a bit as I wrap my arm around her. Gods, I can feel her bare under the sheets, her robe mixes with the silk as it had fallen off of her arm completely. 

I wedge my hardness between my thighs as my eyes shut. She felt wonderful in my arms again. The sunlight kissed her features as they did before, making her look like an angel. Something was wrong. Her body turned as she sat up, her smiling face gone. The sun beams faded in the moon light and tears stained her skin. Her robe hung low at her arms showing the blank canvas of her back still marked by her past. This was no longer a dream.

"Tasya, what troubles you?"

"You weren't suppose to see." My mouth opens, unable to form words. Her eyes shine with tears as she neglects to hide them. "Make me forget him, Loki."

"You need to rest."

She ignores my words completely as she crawls to me. Her hand pushes my chest to the bed as she staddles me on the sheets.

"You'd said you'd help me. Please?"

She grabs my hands gently as she brings them to her body. One rests at her breast, molding my hand to her skin. The other, she brings to her mouth as she slowly parts her lips and sucks at my fingers. As badly as I wanted to take her, this wasn't right. A moan escapes her as she grinds herself into my stomach.

She lowers herself to me and I give in to her lips as I lay her upon her sheets. Her lips press to mine as her tears finish falling. My tongue passes her lips as her fingers comb through my hair. 

"Do you want me to mark you, pet?"

"Yes."

"Consider it done." Her neck was still a bit weak as I lay over her. I choose a tender place on her collar bone, her legs part more for me as I position myself. I stop and shake my head, remembering Frigga's words. "This isn't right, pet. I'm sorry but I just can't."

She lets out a sigh of disappointment as she covers herself with her robe. She carries herself to her vanity as she sips some wine from a cup. I move from the bed and kneel by her side. The distant look in her eyes make it feel like she is hiding something.

"Loki, may we try again tomorrow?"

She hands me the cup and I finish it. She sits me on the chair as she forces a smile for me and straddles my lap.

"The day after tomorrow and I'll do it in my true form."

She smiles as tears form. She reaches my face and kisses me as I feel a warmth rush over me. I feel weakened and fatigued in an instant. I look to the table and see an empty vial that wasn't there when I helped with the room. My vision becomes a blur as Tasya kisses my lips again. The tears on her cheeks shine in the soft light as I give in to the laced wine. Her voice is sweet.

"Please forgive me, my love."

Love.


	10. Take it back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take it back by Liza Anne

I held my breath as his head fell back. Frigga didn't tell me how long the potion would last so I waste no time in summoning my bag and emptying the smaller things of the room into my bag. I redress, hiding the clothes under my robe and open my door to find the male servant there with the other servants to take Loki to his room.

"I guess it was too much wine," I giggle. The male servant nods his head and Frigga appears as they leave with a sleeping Loki. I keep my eyes to her as she guides me away. The guards turn away from us so they don't see us pass. I clutch her hand and try to breathe, knowing this is for the best. Frigga leds me to the stables as a carriage awaits us. Odin waits for us as he gives a few last orders.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, All-Father. It has to be this way."

"Odin, please Tasya."

I shake my head to him.

"No special treatment, that was part of the deal."

He smiles as he kisses my hand. I hand him the letter for Loki when he awakens.

"Take care, Tasya."

"Thank you."

"My queen. I will be here before dawn tomorrow."

Frigga climbs into the carriage with me as the wheels start to turn. I pull off the bag and make it vanish. Frigga smiles as she lets me rest my head on her lap.

"Rest yourself, child. It will be hours before we make our destination."

I close my eyes as the Queen runs her glowing fingers through my loose hair. Her magic quickly puts me to sleep as I see Loki sleep next to me. I wish that there was an easier way for this to be done. I put my arm around him as his own holds me close and pulls me up as he kisses me gently. There would be time for this one day, just not now. My mind drifts to the letter and I hope that he will forgive me for what I had done for us.

 

_~Earlier_

_"Excuse me."_

_The male servant turns to me as he smiles._

_"Yes, my lady."_

_"Would you be able to take me to the Queen?"_

_"Of course, my lady. This way." I close the door and follow the young man down the halls. We walk past the hallway to my room as I spot the back of Loki's armor for a second until it disappears into the room. I sigh at almost being caught. The servant stops at the doors. "Are you alright, my lady? You look a bit unwell."_

_"I'm fine. Just nervous."_

_He smiles as he annouces me to Frigga and Odin. This was going to be easier than I thought. Frigga steps forward._

_"My dear, you should be resting with what you've been through." She stops as I clear my throat and straighten my posture. "What is wrong?"_

_"Do I have your blessing to train as a warrior?"_

_"Of course," Odin shakes his head. "I gave you that choice and it was yours to make. Have you changed your mind?"_

_"No, your highness, um. I still wish to train but if that's to happen, then I don't think I can do it here in the palace. Not with Loki being here, always watching me. That night, when I disappeared, you said that we were distracting each other."_

_"I said a fair amount of things that night. Most of which should not have been said."_

_"But it's true."_

_"I have given much thought to this, Tasya and I think I may know what to do. I know of a cottage that lies a half a days journey from there. I can have you trained in private with a few of the trusted guard."_

_"I can keep Loki as busy as I can while you train. It's something I do best."_

_I unchain the necklace and give it to Frigga as she looks confused._

_"A distraction. If I can see him and he can see me then this isn't going to work and, uh, one more thing." I let out a small sigh. "I know I'm already asking a lot but while I train I don't want to be given any special treatment because of Loki."_

_"If that is what you wish."_

_"It is."_

_"On the condition that you rest for the first day."_

_"Yes, sir. Thank you."_

_I turn to leave as Frigga takes my hand. She leads me to a hidden door as I try my best to follow her._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"My chambers. There is something I have to give you." We climb hidden staircases and hallways I never knew existed. She leads me inside a special set of golden doors, as we are greated by a handmaiden. She hands a vial to Frigga as she places it in my own hands. "Make sure he drinks all of this."_

_"What?"_

_"If I know my son and his love for you, he will fight any of our decisions until his last breath."_

_"Yes," I giggle._

_"He needs to consume the whole vial. When he wakes tomorrow he will be rested but angry."_

_"It will suit him. Thank you, Frigga."_

_"Your majesty, the bath is ready," says a soft voice from behind us. I turn and see Nola. I had forgotten that she was one of Frigga's handmaidens. Nola's mouth drops in surprise as she sees me._

_"I will be waiting tonight, child. Let your the same servant know when he is out. Good luck."_

_She departs as I take a breath. A tear falls from Nola as I run to her and embrace her._

_"You look like you've seen a ghost."_

_"I-I am so sorry my lady for my reactions. They said you were gone and I thought that Midgardians aged faster than us and..."_

_"I missed you too, Nola. How have you been?"_

_She was quiet at first but then told me of how things were the same over the time that I was gone. She aids me in bathing which is something I was comfortable with. Her hands scrub softly at my back._

_"I understand that you are for the prince but after all this time, I have never stopped thinking about you."_

_"Really?"_

_She blushes as she hands me Loki's robe which she pulled from his room._

_"Nola, are you married?"_

_"No, my lady. I haven't the time for a husband yet."_

_"Are you aware that I will be gone again for a period of time?"_

_"I am now unless you wish me to forget."_

_I wasn't sure if this was the best idea but I had to do something to make it up to him. He was a prince after all._

_"Have you serviced anyone before?"_

_"What do you mean, my Lady?"_

_"Like that one night," I say clearly so she understands._

_"Only for a few noblemen that have visited the palace. Why do you ask?"_

_"With me being gone, Loki is going to be confused at my actions and he will be in need of some company, if you understand what I'm saying. You can say no if you want..."_

_"I will be glad to help in any way."_

_"I need paper and some quill. He may not listen to you or Frigga but he has to be able to understand why I'm doing this."_

_"Very well."_

_She returns with what I need as well as some food. She told me Frigga had a servant put wine in my room for tonight. The sun was starting to get low as I gave Nola a goodbye kiss. She was truly an amazing woman. She leads me to my hallway and fixes my robe to hide the vial and the letter I had written for Loki._

_I pull the robe together the best I can and hope Loki isn't feeling so frisky. I guess he wouldn't after what Earl had put me through. For a minute, I wondered where Heimdall had sent him. Perhaps somewhere that he truly belonged. I let all the servants go and feel bad that I wouldn't be staying here after all the hard work they put into the room._

_Loki was gracious enough to stay in the hallway as I handed him the robe. I almost dropped the vial but was able to catch it in time. He was so patient with me as he waited behind the door. I moved around quietly as I hid the vial and the letter in the drawer of the vanity._

_I open the second drawer and find my picture. Loki used his magic to clean my blood from it and flatten it out. Maybe he really did love me but what did I know? Things were confusing enough as they were and it had been a long four days and I wasn't sure what was to happen next. I look to the wine bottle and smile. Things were going to be okay._

-

"Tasya, wake up..."

My eyes opened easily, scared for a moment thinking I was back in my apartment on earth. I turn my head to the open carriage as Frigga lifts her hand to me. She helps me from the carriage as a servant unpacks a few satchels. I help and we follow the man down a dirt path to a clearing as Frigga stops us. She waves her hand a single time and a white haze appears.

"Come..."

The servant goes first, then Frigga, then me after a shaky breath. On the other side is a beautiful evergreen sanctuary. Under the stars were green waves of trees and flowers surrounding a cottage. We must have been in the middle of the sanctuary where the green turned to dirt. In front of the cottage was wooden posts freshing planted in the dirt near an enormous unlit firepit. Next to the path to the house were wooden crates with woven designs on the front. My fingers trace the design.

"It is the markings of our ancestors."

I smile, following the queen into the cottage. Everything is so simple, a bed here, a fireplace and a small window overlooking everything from outside. For some reason, it reminded me of the colored stone grave in the valley west of the palace. Frigga dismissed the servant, telling him to wait outside for her. She looked to my things on the ground near the door.

"Do you know how to use the fireplace, child?"

"I have a lighter."

She held out her hand, guiding mine in front of the fireplace.

"Repeat after me. _Ignisma_."

" _Ignisma_..."

My hand glows red but doesn't burn. A flame appears in my hand, a small red cyclone spirals safely into the fireplace, burning the wood as it gives a small krackle. Frigga blows out my hand and smiles.

"Incineration is easy learn but needs focus to keep control. Try not to use ot more than you need to and remember to blow out the remaining flames from your hand or it will drain your energy."

"Okay."

"Just remember the terms of our deal. Tomorrow you rest then your first tutor will be arrive to begin your training. You'll be safe here and Loki will not find you here."

"Good. Frigga? Am I going to be alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain it but... why am I not falling apart right now? There were countless times since Loki came back for me that I know I should have lost my mind. In all reality, I've never felt more calm or content in my life. Even when he brought me back... Is there something wrong with me?"

Frigga wrapped her arms around me, holding me still.

"Your inner world has collapsed on you. You've been thrown from the highest of cliffs and survive to tell the tales. There is something important in you, Tasya. We may not know what it is yet but it is something worth using for the better."

She kisses my forehead and turns to the door.

"I don't want Loki training me, like... at all."

"I was going to wait to surprise you but I have chosen Lady Sif to train you first. He will be fine. Good night, Tasya."

"Good night and thank you."

Frigga leaves with the servant at her side. The white haze disappears and I'm finally left on my own. In the distance, I can hear birds as they call out to me. I kick off my boots and pull the Luna blade from my bag. I would have all day tomorrow to rest.

I felt like I could have cried but instead I only wanted to sleep. I move into the small bed and hide the Luna blade under my pillow, just to be sure. The fire burns, slowly easing me to sleep. I think of Loki and wonder what will happen when he wakes in the morning. I really hope he would forgive me for the choice I made. I would miss him too much...

-

I never remembered the room being so bright or my dreams ever being so real. I can hear someone in the room, me thinking it to be Tasya.

"Loki."

"Father, what are you doing here?"

Odin placed something next to me on the bed and walked to the door.

"She's doing this for you."

"What are you talking about?"

The door closes and I'm left alone. That's when I realize I am in my own room.

_"Please forgive me, my love."_

"No."

I dress in what clothes I can, finding a piece of parchment fall from the bed. On the front was her writing.

_I'm sorry..._

I rush from the room and sprint towards her hall. The doors are already open as the late morning shines into the hall. The room is slightly bare with the exception of the bed. I sit at the vanity, the last time I saw her. Why would she do this? The letter opens in my fingers.

_Loki,_

_If now was ever a time to listen, now would be the start._

_Sit down, take a breath and stop reading the letter for a minute, only resume when you know you can handle the situation._

I do as she says, letting tears fall to my lap, after a quick and silent breath, I reach for the letter again.

_If you are reading this, you are mad. You probably gave the All-father a sour look and ran for my room. I would never trick you like that. I am not there and won't be for a long while. There are many people that go through life wondering what to do with themselves. Odin's given me the chance for a newer life and I'm going to taken it rather you approve of my methods or not._

_I wanted to be a warrior and will begin training soon. I told Odin that training here would only be a distraction and let's be honest, how long could we have gone before seeing each other and only wanting a simple form of contact? If I'm going to train properly, I had to be away from you. It doesn't mean I didn't want to be there. I had been without you for so long and this hurts me so much to leave you behind at the palace._

_I don't expect you to understand about why I did this. You always fought so hard for me and I will never forget that. You said you loved me, I believe you completely and you said I wouldn't have to say it if I didn't want to. There are still so many things I can't say to you out of fear that you won't understand. If this changes how you feel about me, I will understand. I only hope that when I return that you will still be there for me as you always have been. You were the first person in a long time that showed me any bit of kindness and for that, I am grateful._

_I'm not sure when I'll be back but I've asked Nola to keep you company, should you need it. This time apart will give us time to properly think, instead of having ourselves rush into someone we know will happen one day._

_I'd rather have us fall apart from the questions we ask ourselves, about if we do think about each other._

_My answer is yes, Loki. I will always think about you. I'll think about the way you always held me close, the gentleness and roughness, every smirk. How you pretend to be asleep so I could watch you. More than anything, I'll remember us the night before Lena found us in the dark._

_Use this time apart, Loki. Train, be with your friends, meditate, think if you really want a future with me._

_I do love you, Loki but you need to think of if you really mean it, if you want to take it back or if we really will be together._

_Forever yours,_  
_Tasya_

"Yes."

I sat at the vanity, reading the letter again and again. To be honest, I wanted to smash the furniture and hunt her down, to bring her back to the palace and kiss some sense into her but she was right. This is what she needed, what I needed.

I wave my hand, making the door disappear. I would need to be alone for a while so no one saw the everflowing tears in my eyes. The afternoon breeze calms me like I know she would. I wanted to find her, to hold her close and tell her I was sorry. I close my eyes and clutch her pillow to my nose, inhaling her scent. Mother was right about the obstacles being in our way. Tasya placed this one so that things wouldn't distruct in our faces. She truly was something else.

I tuck the letter into my pocket so it wouldn't crinkle. Later, I would give her the letter she deserved but now all I wanted was her or a vision of her. I close my eyes seeing her.

She was fast asleep and scared. Her Luna blade is under her pillow, waiting to kill whatever plagues her dreams. Her skin smooth and gentle. I would miss them and her lips the most.

_"She's doing this for you."_

"I refuse to take my words back. I love you, Tasya. I will be waiting for you..."


End file.
